Project Yancey: Episode 14: Doug Gets His Ears Lowered

Ahhhhhhh RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, IT'S GODZILLA A HAIRCUT!  That's basically how we find Doug this week, with a daydream where he is running for dear life away from some scissors that are trying to cut his hair.  After this daydream we find Doug in the mirror realizing that he's allowed his hair (8 hairs to be exact) get too long and hes due to get it cut, but the problem is he hasn't found a barber shop in Bluffington yet.  He's been used to the personal flair of Big Al's Barber Shop his entire life, and has always loved the wait he had his hair cut, so hopefully he could find someone else just like that, but we are gonna find out it isn't always that easy.  Once Doug leaves for his quest for a barber he talks to Mr. Dink, who had also had his hair cut recently (the traditional Bozo the Clown cut) so he recommended his [very expensive] barber shop to Doug, who begins to walk in the direction to check it out.  But before he gets there he thinks better of it and fears that his hair will end up like Mr. Dink's (not flattering) and runs into Skeeter and later Judy, the latter of which is also going for a haircut and shows him to the place she is going.  First of all, this is Judy's hair place, secondly it's named Slash, Burn, and Curl, so its not hard to see that this wouldn't end well for Doug.  He goes in anyways, but after seeing all the weird hair styles in there he had to bail before Judy could introduce him to her barber.  When he goes outside he meets back up with Skeeter, and Skeeter suggests he tries the place in the mall, Hair Today Gone Tomorrow, and it would be perfectly fine as long as he doesn't end up getting his hair cut by Fluke.  After a short wait it is time for Doug to get his hair cut, and he is seated next to none other than Patti Mayonnaise (who is reading a magazine entitled "Perm", suddenly everything makes sense), but by some accident he ends up with Fluke herself!  It doesn't seem so bad at first until Fluke proves her name is completely indicative of how she ended up on Earth, and starts telling Doug he needs a perm, highlights and mousse, none of which would fit.  Doug again feels the need to bail as that situation was getting out of hand, and Roger (who was making fun of Doug for a few minutes, but his appearance seemed a little forced) happily takes the spot, obviously not knowing Fluke's reputation.  So Doug is alone again on the search when he happens to run into a nice barber, who offers to give him a haircut for free since he would be the first customer at his new shop, Joe's Barber Shop.  After having his hair cut perfectly, Doug tells the barber he reminds him of Big Al from Bloatsburg, who coincidentally enough, is Joe's cousin!  So Doug managed to find a new Mr. Sweeney (anybody else wonder if this is a nod to Sweeney Todd?) to cut his hair, and all is well.

World's greatest highlights, courtesy of Fluke

For most of my life I've maintained the same hair style, and usually am pretty cyclic about getting it cut on a regular timeline.  I have also been accustomed to going to the same little place back home, and found the chain places (such as cost cutters and super cuts) are horrible, but I'm pretty simple so as long as you can not leave me waiting too long and buzz my head correctly we won't have any problems.  This leads me into talking about how I've had my hair cut since being at college, since I could no longer conveniently go to the place back home.  My freshman year was interesting, I decided to grow my hair out just to see how it looks long, I believe I went approximately September to the following May without a haircut, and only got it cut because of a previously stated promise.  It managed to grow to about 5 and a half inches long at least, and looked very reminiscent of a helmet.  It was both a total mess and a complete burden to me, and I will never go that route ever again in my life (no wonder my freshman year of college wasn't exactly successful in the dating realm, I looked like a total dork.)  So after finding out my friend was not single any more, and getting tired of the emo hair flip, I consulted my friends and got a haircut from none other than one of our local foreign students who had never cut hair before.  It didn't end up looking completely horrible, but I did get a few comments from my dad about it looking quite bad, and I went to the barber shop to get it fixed up once I got home.  I have since then never allowed my hair to even get to the point where it is visible to myself.  I think that is likely for the best for both myself and the entire world around me.  Having said that I would be willing to hear out new hairstyles anybody thinks would look good on me so tell me if you have any ideas (warning: if you say fauxhawk I will hit you).

I didn't look nearly this cool with that hair, it was most like Paul's for the record