Things I Hate (That Everyoine Else Seems to Love)

Hooray, I am writing for my own blog again!  After spending a few months doing things that aren't blogging, I am back to make myself seems like an angry asshole!  As the title says I am going to write about some things that I hate that other people love, and the reason for most of these is because I am not a fan of most people. So without any further delay, I'll let my anger go.

Despite all my rage, I'll never be Nicholas Cage

First Person Shooters/ Competitive Online Multiplayer
I am going to lump these together because even though most of my gripes are with the latter of the two, pretty much every online multiplayer game that people play seriously enough to have these behaviors is a FPS.  My first gripe is that I play video games as a type of escapism from the fact that things don't always go my way and I enjoy a little success.  Even though I consider myself a competent video gamer, I am also rather competitive and when I lose (which happens a lot in online games) I tend to get angry.  Anger is not escapism.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy challenging games but I would much rather play a Mega Man game from the NES era where even though it is insanely difficult I can keep playing and eventually triumph over one of these new games where all it takes to lose is slower reflexes and bad luck.  I also hate the behavior of people who play these online games, not only do they claim to have a ridiculous amount of sex with random strangers' mothers (despite the fact most probably couldn't tell a labia from a Labrador) but they are the most ill behaved people I have ever conversed with.  Racial slurs, swears and accusations of cheating everywhere!  I really don't want to bother with that bullshit in my hobby when I could just as easily turn to a Rayman Origins or a Fez to enjoy myself.  Multiplayer was created originally to play video games locally with friends, and playing with total strangers online completely ruins the spirit of multiplayer in my opinion.  My last problem is with the FPS genre, and it is how realism is being so actively pursued.  Mostly in how they use real guns and in some of them they try to actually make the gameplay realistic.  Even though these games aren't meant for children, they play them and that kind of frightens me that they know the difference between an AK-47 and a M16, the most dangerous thing I learned when I was a child from video games was that jumping on a goomba made it flatten.

Pop Music
The reason for me not liking pop music is simple, I am getting older and I am not a girl.  As far as I am concerned the only reason for younger men to like pop music is because girls like it and they want to get into those girls pants.  That sentence does not mean that I would prefer to be in a man's pants, but you misread what I meant by girl.  By girl I mean it as in the dictionary's definition "a female child, from birth to full growth," basically anybody who is not old enough to have yet to receive a high school diploma.  You see my theory on pop music is thus, the college girls like it because they are mostly drunk and want to dance, the high school girls actually like this stuff because the college girls like to dance to it, the high school boys like the music because it is an easy topic of conversation with the high school girl, the soccer mom likes it because they want to feel young again, the college guy needs to tolerate it long enough to dance with the drunk girl, and any man older than that doesn't give a fuck about it because they (hopefully) don't enjoy partaking in statutory rape.  I'm not saying that any pop artists aren't good musicians, but it just isn't something I like to listen to, merely because I am starting my lifelong quest of becoming an angry old man.

This fanbase = Money!  Tons of it!

Apple Products
Screw Apple and their damn trendiness!  I really don't understand why everyone is so animate about getting an iPhone when there are other phones that are just as good (or better) and usually cheaper.  I like to assume that having an iPhone is something of a status symbol that you are hip and trendy.  But the thing is that everyone with an iPhone pretends to be such an individual because of it when like 90% of people have the same goddamn sleek looking white phone.  That is another odd thing, did Apple have exclusive rights to make a white phone?  I am not even going to touch on the potential implications of people's color choices because it really isn't my place to say anything about it.  I am also blown away by the amount of people that have the iPhone and the iPad and the iPod Touch, the only difference between the three is that one can make calls, one is huge and one is completely useless now.  They all do the same thing, they all cost a ton, and they are all so damn trendy.  I really can't wait until Apple makes their next iPhenomenon that does the exact same thing with no real progress other than one small aesthetic difference.  It is like a cult, and I love myself for being an PC, Android and Zune owner.

PUT ON THE GLASSES!

High School and High School Related Activities
This one isn't becoming jaded with high school over the years, I hated it then a lot more than I hate it now, so much so that I really can't remember why I hated it so much.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that television made being popular seem so important that it kept me from being able to accept my semi-popular self for a little while.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that my class rank was being brought down because of the people who cheated on every test and assignment would do better than someone like myself who acted morally and did their own work.  Maybe it was the structure and the time and the fact I was a teenager and hormones were telling me to hate everything about my surroundings.  But I hated high school when it was happening and could never understand the people who had all this school spirit and were like "woo hoo I'm a senior" as if it was something they think will actually be relevant further on in their life.  I also hate prom (excuse me for a second as I dodge dirty looks from every woman on earth), all it is is dressing up for a shitty meal and dancing to shitty music.  What the hell is fun about that?

Reservoir Dogs

I watched this movie last year after many people recommended it to me and said that I would like it.  It is true that I usually don't mind violent movies as long as they have a good plot to justify the violence.  The problem with Reservoir Dogs is that I didn't find it's story too enthralling.  A good indicator of how much I didn't enjoy the story is that I seriously cannot think of a single part of the movie that I didn't like, mainly because I can't remember a single part of the movie at all.  I only watched it about a year ago, and if I can't remember a single part I must have really been disenchanted by the movie that I just zoned out.  It had something to do with a robbery and Steve Buscemi was in it and Quentin Tarantino died in some stupid way I can't quite remember.  I think the main point of the movie was to enjoy and connect to the characters but I hated every single one of them.  I didn't want to see any of the characters get away with the heist and run away to be happily ever after.  Granted I'm pretty sure none of them did, but when things went wrong I didn't have any emotional response to it, I just went through the motions and kept watching.  I'm sure there are plenty of extra layers and intricacies within the movie that make it great, but I really have no intention of watching that movie again.  I'm not going to say it is a bad movie either, but it simply doesn't get my recommendation.  

He was better in Mr. Deeds with the peanut butter and gumballs pizza.

So there is me letting off some steam about things I'm not particularly fond of.  I don't think it really helped me stop hating these things so much but it was kind of fun to write about it.  If you want to tell me to fuck off and you hate my opinion, please feel free to direct your rage to the comment box, where I will respond by crying myself to sleep for the next month.  So long and hopefully I will be able to post some more soon.

Project Yancey: Episode 27: Doug's Secret Song

I haven't written one of these in more than a month, and I should be ashamed of myself!  But even after our long hiatus I was able to come back into Doug's Life and not only find him with his trusty old banjo playing his secret song about Patti.  The song's secrecy takes a major hit by Skeeter coming out of nowhere and telling Doug how much he loved the song (joking?).  Skeeter is a good friend so he agrees not to tell anybody about Doug's song, and then proceeds to start singing it as they walk down the street to some undetermined location.  As they pass Mr. Dink's house they hear loud sounds and think he is in trouble, but it turns out that he was just playing a video of him doing some kind of karaoke, which sounded like the painful moaning of some serious injury.  His video was recorded at some place at the mall, which contrary to typical Mr. Dink fashion, it was very inexpensive, so Doug and Skeeter decide to give the place a visit so they can have something to do.  Instead of watching the two of them walk to the mall, we are instead treated to a wonderful 90's rap video about Doug wanting all his sexy ladies to give him a call sometime (it is awesome.)  When they get to the mall the video making place is packed with familiar faces, before going in to record his video, Doug sees Mr. Bone, and I'll ruin the surprise but he also sees Patti when he gets out.  But before we get too ahead of ourselves, we need to see what Doug does for his video.  In his little booth we find Doug, Skeeter, Porkchop, his banjo and some awesome white leather jacket that I suppose he borrowed from the store.  A nervous Doug continues to sing his secret song on video, while hiccuping, which we should assume will turn out to be completely horrible on tape.  Now the meeting with Patti happens, where she would easily win the award for least aware person on earth, as she doesn't notice Doug or Skeeter standing directly in front of her talking loudly until about 2 seconds after Skeeter says "Hi Patti" right to her.  As they get their videos, Patti informs Doug and Skeeter that she is going to an "up all night" party at Bebe's house.  This doesn't become anything of interest at all until Doug and Skeeter try to watch Doug's video and find they received Patti's video, which has oddly good editing and multiple angles, neither of which seemed possible in Doug's booth, we are left to assume he got the shaft.  Doug amazingly remembered this party, and they high tail it there to try and prevent the "up all night" party from turning into an "up all night and laugh at Doug" party.  Trying to be cordial and go to the front door to ask to switch the tapes, Bebe's stuck up butler (stuck up butler!?!) sends them off saying no boys are allowed.  Their next idea almost works, but when they send Porkchop in he gets detected, but instead of getting tortured like Doug thinks will happen, he starts dancing and playing around with them.  It is right when Doug and Skeeter climb the trellis in front of Bebe's window (terrible foresight on her father's part) that they see Porkchop dancing, and Patti decides it is time to put on her video.  But moments before Doug is able to decide that his life is, in fact, over, he sees that Patti was playing Mr. Bone's video, so she doesn't have his video at all.  And after Doug once again avoids a terrible inconvenience to his life, we are treated to the embarrassment of Mr. Bone playing Doug's video to his yodeling club, hilarity ensues.

Yes Doug, I am as confused as you are.

So I am not ashamed that I have many times written songs about the girls that I have liked in my day.  Many (if not all) of these songs have gone by the wayside, and a vast majority of them have been in notebooks that have since been thrown out.  I have older brothers, so having self written songs that you have spilled your heart into is never a good idea.  The ones that remain were the ones I have written since I went to college and had my own computer that is passworded and I know how to hide my files and folders correctly.  So for all those girls that go to school for me, you may be reading one of my songs specially written about you (but I highly doubt it, because of the ones I found to have moderate quality it has been quite some time since speaking with either of them.)  If you haven't picked up on the content of the last sentence, I will be displaying two of my self-written songs that I have found to be of at least mediocre quality.  For those who actually read my articles, rather than look at all the pretty pictures, this is a fantastic time to give me some feedback and feel free to comment any thoughts you have on my songs, I bet some of you know what I was feeling when I wrote these.  This first one, which I called "Repetition" is the more recent of the two, it dates to Summer 2009, while the second dates back to the preceding fall.


Repetition

The winds of change whispering in my ear,
but I can't understand I just cant hear,
as the world proceeds to pass me by,
you come on back for another try,
and I'm sucked in a hole and I just cant leave,
there are no more tricks hidden up my sleeve,
and as I try to talk my way out,
I begin to see what the voice was about.


and we cant keep on living this way,
cause some things gotta change and some things gotta give,
to give us all that reason to live.

Day 2, I'm walkin' down the street,
melting down in the summertime heat,
I catch a scent that's hard to place,
and everywhere I look I see your face,
my minds going wild what should I do?
'Cause I'll go crazy if its really you,
and over and over by no mishap,
I fall back down to the same ol' trap.

'Cause history repeats day by day,
and we cant keep on living this way,
cause somethings gotta change and somethings gotta give,
to give us all that reason to live.

I just wanna quit and run away,
do anything to make it okay,
but there's no escape your always there,
to catch my foot in your snare,
once again you got me caught,
in the same old mess that i brought,
and as the dilemma continues to grow,
I'm left wondering if you even know.

Clearing Haze

Smoke clears out from a burning room,
inside still floats the smell of her perfume.
The sight inside I can't behold,
as all of the world begins to unfold,
the truth lies asleep on the floor,
an unmistakable sight once through the door.

And seen clear as light through the haze,
her ashamed and apologetic gaze.
loneliness extends for miles down the hall,
as the hearts of the bystanders fall,
into the infinite valley of being self-aware,
as the whole world freezes right there.

No action, no words, no sound,
the images destroy the ties that bound,
the face that once gave so much life,
stabs the depths unfathomed by any knife,
deeper and deeper with every passing tick,
heartstrings bending make me sick.

She gets up and the moment has passed,
simultaneous with the sound of life collapsed,
shock, awe, sickness, depression, pain,
losing all in the world there was to gain,
appeasing lies once again flood the air,
and for the first time there's nobody to care.

My Top Ten Albums of the 2000s

This is a little piece I've been wanting to write for a little while now, I listen to a good heap of music which is mostly from the 90s so when I like something new it usually blows me away to some extent.  What I am about to give you is the list of albums that seemed to have blown me away, and are in the order of how good I feel they are right now.  For each I would like to give a short explanation of why I like it and specific songs worth listening to and hopefully for each a suggestion of songs that should have been released as singles.  The only rules to this list are that only one album is allowed per artist, no compilations/greatest hits albums and it is solely based on my opinion.  So starting with the bottom we will work our way to the top, which brings me to my list...

10. The Reason - Hoobastank

I really for the life of me don't know what I like so much about this album, but I know it is one I can listen to at any time and enjoy so that means something there.  I also find it funny that the single that made this album famous, and also from which the album gets it's title is easily my least favorite song on the album.  The album starts out really strong seeing that Same Direction and Out of Control are probably the two best songs on this album and I would especially recommend the first for anybody to listen to (love the guitar in that song).  The rest of the album (save for The Reason) follows in the same vein and while it sounds similar throughout, it is always a good listen.  Since every song I have already mentioned was released as a single, I need to name another to fill my quota, so I would elect my third favorite song on the album, that being Escape, mostly because I like the drums and the chorus is a little catchy.

9. Cage the Elephant - Cage the Elephant

This album I really know why I put it on, and the reason is because they take all the qualities I enjoy in Jack White's music (more about this later), and apply a different energy to it.  Seriously, try to listen to Ain't No Rest for the Wicked without thinking to yourself that this is just a really sweet song.  All of the songs on this album are, at the very worst, easy to listen to and if you are one for playing an album full through to listen to without having any real changes, this is as good an album as many.  This album shows a hell of a lot of energy in it, more notably seen in In One Ear, Tiny Little Robots, Lotus, and Judas. The singles released from this album, Ain't No Rest for the Wicked, In One Ear, and Back Against the Wall were all excellent calls in my idea, but if I had to make a complaint, it would be that Lotus wasn't a single (but there is still time for them to remedy this situation.

8. Consolers of the Lonely - The Raconteurs

Didn't I just mention my love for Jack White?  This album was released far past the point when I began loving his work, but it succeeded in showing me some more ways that he can kick some ass with a guitar in his hands.  After a first Raconteurs album that I wasn't particularly interested in, this album was released and brought with it a really cool southern vibe to it.  To suggest some songs, I would recommend to listen to at the very least the first 8 songs on this album, each of which are really cool to me and very enjoyable.  For example the piano-heavy You Don't Understand Me, and bringing in a brass section for The Switch and the Spur were some really nice ways to mix their album up.  Again, no complaints with the single selections, Salute Your Solution and Many Shades of Black (both of which among my favorites on the album), I would've liked to see either the title track, or The Switch and the Spur get the single treatment, but again, no complaints at all.

7. The College Dropout - Kanye West

This was the beginning of the end for Mr. West.  Before he got extremely famous and began to lose the qualities that made him famous in the first place (yet somehow got more famous for it), he was a young man with issues to discuss and did so with many heartfelt rhymes.  This debut was pretty much an instant hit on the power of his first single Through the Wire, in which he rapped about an injury which caused his jaw to be wired shut with his jaw wired shut.  You can't get many raps more real than that,  and he even followed that up with the semi-prophetic All Falls Down, and the religiously-driven Jesus Walks.  This is easily one of the most important rap albums released in the decade, and one of the very few that I genuinely enjoy listening to.  I would recommend anybody to listen to Family Business, We Don't Care, Get Em' High, and Spaceship, although would only wish the last one would have been a single.

6. Audioslave - Audioslave

A supergroup?!? Yes, I put an album from a supergroup on my top 10 albums of a decade, and you know what?  I would probably do so with the 90s as well.  Grunge artists manage to do great things with supergroups.  This time being Chris Cornell with the backing band from Rage Against the Machine, and even though sometimes in the album I pined to hear Zach De la Rocha doing his thing, this is a respectable rock album.  Listen to the songs Like a Stone, Getaway Car, Shadow on the Sun and Show Me How to Live.  I hope you listen to this album before any of the others because this is what should have been and Audioslave's later works were complete let downs (except for Be Yourself, which is probably their best song as a band).

5. Artist in the Ambulance - Thrice

This album is not for everyone, but I have had a love for it since the first time my brother told me to listen to it and this list is not for everyone.  This is without a doubt the heaviest album on this list and is my favorite for the guitar.  If you would like to listen to 12 songs of someone just thrashing on a guitar with a pretty versatile singer more or less yelling in the background (most people who I tell I like Thrice wonder how I like the singing, but truth is I love the vocal range he as and is the one thing that I think sets them apart from other bands of their type.)  Their singles are all very good from this album, All That's Left was the first heavy song I learned to play, Artist in the Ambulance is easily the most approachable song on the album, and Stare at the Sun is a close second.  I wouldn't really recommend any singles to be released because this isn't a mainstream album, but I would love to suggest anybody listen to Blood Clots and Black Holes for one of my favorite guitar songs ever, and also Abolition of Man is well worth listening to even if it is just for the ending.

4. White Blood Cells - The White Stripes

The first album in which I actually had to think about which album was my favorite from that artist (even if I chose Elephant it would be #4).  I ended up deciding on White Blood Cells because it was a more bluesy album, and when I listen to the White Stripes I like to hear some of the blues.  To talk more about my love for Jack White, this album might not be his best on the guitar, but I'm not let down by it at all, mainly because I just like the small town kid vibe of the entire album.  The singles from this album, Hotel Yorba (my favorite on the album), Fell in Love With a Girl, Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground, and We're Gonna Be Friends (more commonly known as the song that plays during the intro credits of Napoleon Dynamite) were all perfect choices and in that order are probably my favorite songs on the album.  But I really am disappointed I'm Finding It Harder to Be a Gentleman and Same Boy You've Always Known weren't singles either, they are both really good.

3. Hot Fuss - The Killers

It really is hard to describe how good this album is, and it is really hard to believe that even though I had this album since shortly after it's release, that it took me nearly 5 years to finally give it the full-through listen that it deserves.  This album really does not have any bad songs, or hell even a bad note.  To recommend a song I would just tell you to sit down and play it all the way through,.  You will enjoy the singles released, Mr. Brightside (simply amazing), Somebody Told Me (barely less amazing), All These Things That I've Done and Smile Like You Mean It, and you will enjoy all the rest of the songs just as much.  This album does a great job of maintaining a similar song throughout but at no point do any of the songs sound alike, which is something I find quite awesome.  But please listen to Midnight Show and Andy, You're a Star, you won't regret it.

2. Speakerboxx/The Love Below - Outkast

There are incredibly many reasons why I should have put this as number one on my list.  First, even though this was a set of two albums, either one would have been on this list had they been released separately under the names Big Boi and Andre 3000 respectively.  Secondly, I listened to this album when it first came out and was stunned by it, I listened to this album years later and was stunned by it, and am currently listening to it and am stunned by it.  This album is not number one for the sole reason that I am a total fanboy (you will understand in a second).  Speakerboxx is one of the best straight rap albums that I have ever listened to, only rivaled by The College Dropout and Dr. Dre's 2001.  The Love Below is a series of love songs from Andre 3000, who despite being a rapper first in old times only raps in a handful of songs on this album.  To understand why Speakerboxx is so good, listen to The Way You Move and War.  For a taste of the Love Below, listen to Hey Ya, Roses, and Behold a Lady (which I am going to post a video below because it is that amazing. )



1. A Crow Left of the Murder... - Incubus

To me, choosing my favorite Incubus album is what I expect it is like for a parent to choose their favorite child.  Either you just are unable to do it, or  it fluctuates so often that you couldn't even say because it would only be moments before the answer has changed.  Luckily the decision was made a little easier since S.C.I.E.N.C.E. and Make Yourself (my favorite of the bunch) were both released in the 90s.  So really this spot belongs to A Crow Left of the Murder..., Morning View and Light Grenades.  I chose ACLotM, because of the power that it brings with songs like Megalomaniac, Talk Shows on Mute, Sick Sad Little World, Here in My Room, and the title track A Crow Left of the Murder.  I am not even going to recommend any songs for this album, but I rather will tell you to go out and buy the entire Incubus discography, I have never told anybody to do that who hasn't later returned to me agreeing that it was necessary.  So yes, I am an Incubus fanatic, and only put this album above some others because I have such a deep love with them that I owed it to them.  You know what I have to say to that?  I genuinely do think Incubus's three albums during the 2000s were the three  best albums released in the 2000s.  So step off and don't try to tell me otherwise.

Honorable Mentions: Black Gives Way to Blue - Alice in Chains, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Phoenix, Backspacer - Pearl Jam, Only By the Night - Kings of Leon, and As Daylight Dies - Killswitch Engage.

If you like this list, like my recommendations, or have any music recommendations for me please write it in my comments.  I'm all ears.