Things I Hate (That Everyoine Else Seems to Love)

Hooray, I am writing for my own blog again!  After spending a few months doing things that aren't blogging, I am back to make myself seems like an angry asshole!  As the title says I am going to write about some things that I hate that other people love, and the reason for most of these is because I am not a fan of most people. So without any further delay, I'll let my anger go.

Despite all my rage, I'll never be Nicholas Cage

First Person Shooters/ Competitive Online Multiplayer
I am going to lump these together because even though most of my gripes are with the latter of the two, pretty much every online multiplayer game that people play seriously enough to have these behaviors is a FPS.  My first gripe is that I play video games as a type of escapism from the fact that things don't always go my way and I enjoy a little success.  Even though I consider myself a competent video gamer, I am also rather competitive and when I lose (which happens a lot in online games) I tend to get angry.  Anger is not escapism.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy challenging games but I would much rather play a Mega Man game from the NES era where even though it is insanely difficult I can keep playing and eventually triumph over one of these new games where all it takes to lose is slower reflexes and bad luck.  I also hate the behavior of people who play these online games, not only do they claim to have a ridiculous amount of sex with random strangers' mothers (despite the fact most probably couldn't tell a labia from a Labrador) but they are the most ill behaved people I have ever conversed with.  Racial slurs, swears and accusations of cheating everywhere!  I really don't want to bother with that bullshit in my hobby when I could just as easily turn to a Rayman Origins or a Fez to enjoy myself.  Multiplayer was created originally to play video games locally with friends, and playing with total strangers online completely ruins the spirit of multiplayer in my opinion.  My last problem is with the FPS genre, and it is how realism is being so actively pursued.  Mostly in how they use real guns and in some of them they try to actually make the gameplay realistic.  Even though these games aren't meant for children, they play them and that kind of frightens me that they know the difference between an AK-47 and a M16, the most dangerous thing I learned when I was a child from video games was that jumping on a goomba made it flatten.

Pop Music
The reason for me not liking pop music is simple, I am getting older and I am not a girl.  As far as I am concerned the only reason for younger men to like pop music is because girls like it and they want to get into those girls pants.  That sentence does not mean that I would prefer to be in a man's pants, but you misread what I meant by girl.  By girl I mean it as in the dictionary's definition "a female child, from birth to full growth," basically anybody who is not old enough to have yet to receive a high school diploma.  You see my theory on pop music is thus, the college girls like it because they are mostly drunk and want to dance, the high school girls actually like this stuff because the college girls like to dance to it, the high school boys like the music because it is an easy topic of conversation with the high school girl, the soccer mom likes it because they want to feel young again, the college guy needs to tolerate it long enough to dance with the drunk girl, and any man older than that doesn't give a fuck about it because they (hopefully) don't enjoy partaking in statutory rape.  I'm not saying that any pop artists aren't good musicians, but it just isn't something I like to listen to, merely because I am starting my lifelong quest of becoming an angry old man.

This fanbase = Money!  Tons of it!

Apple Products
Screw Apple and their damn trendiness!  I really don't understand why everyone is so animate about getting an iPhone when there are other phones that are just as good (or better) and usually cheaper.  I like to assume that having an iPhone is something of a status symbol that you are hip and trendy.  But the thing is that everyone with an iPhone pretends to be such an individual because of it when like 90% of people have the same goddamn sleek looking white phone.  That is another odd thing, did Apple have exclusive rights to make a white phone?  I am not even going to touch on the potential implications of people's color choices because it really isn't my place to say anything about it.  I am also blown away by the amount of people that have the iPhone and the iPad and the iPod Touch, the only difference between the three is that one can make calls, one is huge and one is completely useless now.  They all do the same thing, they all cost a ton, and they are all so damn trendy.  I really can't wait until Apple makes their next iPhenomenon that does the exact same thing with no real progress other than one small aesthetic difference.  It is like a cult, and I love myself for being an PC, Android and Zune owner.

PUT ON THE GLASSES!

High School and High School Related Activities
This one isn't becoming jaded with high school over the years, I hated it then a lot more than I hate it now, so much so that I really can't remember why I hated it so much.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that television made being popular seem so important that it kept me from being able to accept my semi-popular self for a little while.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that my class rank was being brought down because of the people who cheated on every test and assignment would do better than someone like myself who acted morally and did their own work.  Maybe it was the structure and the time and the fact I was a teenager and hormones were telling me to hate everything about my surroundings.  But I hated high school when it was happening and could never understand the people who had all this school spirit and were like "woo hoo I'm a senior" as if it was something they think will actually be relevant further on in their life.  I also hate prom (excuse me for a second as I dodge dirty looks from every woman on earth), all it is is dressing up for a shitty meal and dancing to shitty music.  What the hell is fun about that?

Reservoir Dogs

I watched this movie last year after many people recommended it to me and said that I would like it.  It is true that I usually don't mind violent movies as long as they have a good plot to justify the violence.  The problem with Reservoir Dogs is that I didn't find it's story too enthralling.  A good indicator of how much I didn't enjoy the story is that I seriously cannot think of a single part of the movie that I didn't like, mainly because I can't remember a single part of the movie at all.  I only watched it about a year ago, and if I can't remember a single part I must have really been disenchanted by the movie that I just zoned out.  It had something to do with a robbery and Steve Buscemi was in it and Quentin Tarantino died in some stupid way I can't quite remember.  I think the main point of the movie was to enjoy and connect to the characters but I hated every single one of them.  I didn't want to see any of the characters get away with the heist and run away to be happily ever after.  Granted I'm pretty sure none of them did, but when things went wrong I didn't have any emotional response to it, I just went through the motions and kept watching.  I'm sure there are plenty of extra layers and intricacies within the movie that make it great, but I really have no intention of watching that movie again.  I'm not going to say it is a bad movie either, but it simply doesn't get my recommendation.  

He was better in Mr. Deeds with the peanut butter and gumballs pizza.

So there is me letting off some steam about things I'm not particularly fond of.  I don't think it really helped me stop hating these things so much but it was kind of fun to write about it.  If you want to tell me to fuck off and you hate my opinion, please feel free to direct your rage to the comment box, where I will respond by crying myself to sleep for the next month.  So long and hopefully I will be able to post some more soon.

October Means Playoff Baseball

Hello Everybody, I'm gonna take a break from Project Yancey for a day or two because I want to talk some baseball.  If you hadn't known, the 2010 season just ended and we are heading into the postseason, which is basically the only reason (outside of Halloween) October exists.  I won't write my ideas about the season yet, I'm planning to do so after the World Series has been wrapped up, but I will say this was easily the most enticing and amazing season since 1998 which was easily the pinnacle of baseball from my childhood.  So for my playoff preview I am going to rank all of the 8 playoff teams in the order of likelihood they will win it all, and will try to relate each of the teams to a baseball movie that I may have specifically liked.  (Note: I am going to try not to put any bias into this being a Braves and Red Sox fan, but please forgive me if it gets in the way.)

Rookie of the Year
8. Atlanta Braves
See, I'm proving my lack of bias by claiming my personal favorite team has the worst chance of winning and is thus the worst of the teams.  My reasons for saying so is that I've watched them a lot and they really sputtered into the playoffs, coming down to a virtual must-win situation in game 162.  They have really been slumping lately (you really need more than one guaranteed starting outfielder to succeed in the playoffs), and had a terrible time for the injury bug to bite (breakout star infielder Martin Prado is out, and starting pitcher Jair Jurrjens is questionable).  But there are three reasons I see for why the Braves can be scary. First, they still have Tim Hudson, and Derek Lowe and Tommy Hanson have been pitching really hot lately, mixed with a very good bullpen they could do well in a short series.  Secondly, never underestimate the "do it for the skipper" psyche, with legendary manager Bobby Cox calling it quits at the end of the year.  And lastly, the reason I adorned this team with it's movie, Jason Heyward is an electric player who seems to come in in the clutch a lot, and has been playing quite well in the last month or two.  Yes, I would vote Heyward for my Rookie of the Year over Buster Posey, but I'll discuss that in the future.  Go Braves!

The Rookie
7. Cincinnati Reds
The Reds were amongst 2010's darlings, nobody expected them to do so well this year, or even challenge the Cardinals for their reign of the N.L. Central.  Except I did, I specifically went out of my way to say on Facebook on February 1, that the 2010 Reds had the talent and potential to be the 2008 Rays.  Why did I say this, they have a very good young team, with a talented outfield, and a rapidly emerging superstar in Joey Votto.  Yet they also really benefited from the veteran presence of Shortstop Orlando Cabrera (he always manages to get to the playoffs) and Third Baseman Scott Rolen.  With a starting pitching staff that I think was good enough to make it to the playoffs but not do much more, they may go home only a little later than their norm (especially since they face the Phillies in the first round).  Having said that, the 2008 Rays did have the postseason emergence of David Price, and if push comes to shove, I would watch out for Cuban defective Aroldis Chapman to come up huge with his 105 mph fastballs, much like the title character, he is a flame throwing rookie who had to go through some crazy stuff to get there.

Angels in the Outfield
6. Texas Rangers
Their angels in the outfield come in the form of Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, Julio Borbon, and sometimes Vladimir Guerrero (usually the DH though).  In my mind this is probably the most frightening outfield that doesn't have anybody named Either or Kemp in it.  It is definitely an understatement to say this team can score runs, also having Ian Kinsler and Elvis Andrus in their lineup.  They seemed to slide quite easily into the playoffs winning the A.L. West despite having the worst record of a playoff team, albeit by only one game.  I think this team has the potential to be really good in the playoffs but theres perhaps one red flag too many.  First, I don't know what to think of their pitching staff, I love Cliff Lee and C.J. Wilson, but those are easily the worst 1-2 pitchers for any team in the playoffs other than the Reds.  Second, Josh Hamilton is just now getting back to playing after missing nearly a month in September, and since he is probably the A.L. MVP, I'd like to think a lot of pressure rests on his shoulder (but probably less pressure than fighting off drug addictions and getting your life back on track to become the player people thought you were supposed to be after being a first overall pick in the draft.)  Also I don't know why, because I have never really watched them, but I feel like they are shaky defensively, and that's not good when you play the Rays.  But the Rangers are a feel-good team and I hope to see them do well.

5. San Francisco GiantsBad News Bears
I'm gonna jump to the point here, I don't understand how this offense wins games.  Their outfield seems to be comprised of guys who are playing well above their heads, and 3 of their top 4 outfielders weren't even with the club at the beginning of the year (Pat Burrell, Jose Guillen, and Cody Ross).  The infield has seen renaissance years from Juan Uribe and Aubrey Huff, but also saw a decline of their young superstar Pablo Sandoval AKA King Fu Panda AKA The Round Mound of Pound AKA this generation's potential Tony Gwynn.  In all fairness their catcher Buster Posey likely has just as good if not a better resume for Rookie of the Year as does Jason Heyward, but I'm biased and Jason Heyward is a phenom.  I will tell you why this team will in all likelihood beat the Braves in the first round though, neither have notably powerful offenses, but both have rather good starting pitching staffs.  I personally do feel that Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain (who I feel is VERY underrated), and Jonathan Sanchez are talented enough to keep them in any game, and they just seem less likely to give up runs than the Braves pitchers who are really good, but just short of that level (which is not an insult at all, Lincecum won the last 2 Cy Young awards.)  So in the end, the Giants look moderately good because the fact this is not 1998 and the MLB is transitioning into a pitcher's league once again.

The Natural
4. Minnesota Twins
I like the Twins, I like them a lot.  They have a roster that makes you sit there and wonder how good they could be, especially considering how well they played the second half of the year without former MVP Justin Morneau.  They have everything a team needs to succeed, some good young talent in Delmon Young, Denard Span and Danny Valencia, some good veteran players in Orlando Hudson, Michael Cuddyer, and Jim Thome, and most importantly arguably the best player in the league.  Joe Mauer (a bonifide natural talent) is one of the most important players in baseball, hes a terrific catcher defensively and offensively does things that catchers are never known for, consistent hitting, just for that he deserves to be a perennial MVP candidate.  Beyond that, I like their first two pitchers in Francisco Liriano and (moustache of the year nominee) Carl Pavano.  Mix that with a capable relief core, and the Twins can be extremely dangerous. Don't you dare let them sneak under the radar like they seemingly did all season.

3. New York Yankees61*
They are ranked above the Twins basically because they are the Yankees and that franchise really does have some magic for better or for worse.  The team is comprised of the whores of baseball, where money is the only important things.  The few players I feel are not whores, Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and Robinson Cano are really enough reason to believe a team to be good though.  Considering that the rest of the team is the best players money can buy (get it? get it?) they really are as good of a team as you can get on paper.  But note that I named this section after the movie 61* based on the 1961 season of Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle, which is such an endearing and great movie that my fandom to the Red Sox did not get in the way of enjoying it.  This title made sense to me beyond the fact it is a movie about the Yankees, but it relates because throughout the movie Whitey Ford is the only pitcher you notice or it possibly even mentions, that is a very good description of the 2010 Yankees pitching staff.  Sabathia is a likely Cy Young winner, but beyond him, they may need to be scoring a lot of runs.  Knowing how much pitching has always meant in the playoffs, this seems like a recipe for disaster unless something special happens, again this franchise has seen special things happen so I barely rank them above the Twins, but they are gonna play an even series.

Major League
2. Tampa Bay Rays
Major League is a movie in which the worst possible team is assembled because the owner wanted to sell as little as possible to move the team elsewhere, and when the team starts playing well they find out the team will be broken up to start from scratch the next year.  This is incredibly like the Rays, except for the worst possible team part, this team was expected to play this well, but that didn't stop Tampa fans from not showing up to games (note Florida is the world's largest retirement home so I can't blame them cause they legitimately cannot leave their rooms to go to the game), and finding out toward the end of the year their team will be broken up because the owners don't have the money.  So never underestimate the last hurrah mentality for these guys to want to win one for the memories.  Beyond that, this is a great team, Evan Longoria and Carl Crawford are both incredible talents and the rest of their offense are special players for their own reasons.  They are as good as anybody at playing small ball, and that is always an advantage when you can end up in low scoring games.  I'll also point out that David Price would be my Cy Young vote, and Matt Garza is capable of winning any game, as well as the rest of their starters being very capable.  Factor in Rafael Soriano entering the "best closer in the league" debate, and Joe Maddon knowing how to manage a game, the A.L. is theirs to lose.  (Last wrinkle, they have home field advantage in the ALDS and ALCS, I shudder at the thought of a ALCS game 7 in a nearly empty stadium.  It's simply depressing.)

1. Philadelphia PhilliesMajor League 2
After the same team from the first Major League sees extreme success, and become one of the better teams in the league, they get comfortable where they are and lose track of how they got there.  This causes them to start off with issues but eventually find their stride at the end and go into the playoffs with a lot of momentum.  As scary as it is, that's a perfect description of the Phillies after being in the last 2 World Series (winning one of them).  They finished with the best record in baseball, and have virtually no weakness.  They have 2 former MVPs, Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins (even though he is hurt a little), the best second baseman in baseball by a longshot in Chase Utley, and the rest of their starters are, at worst, good players.  Their top 3 pitchers Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels are experienced and as good as anybody in the leagues (even though I feel like Hamels is overrated), and their bullpen is competent (okay maybe one tiny weakness).  I've watched them play the Braves in recent days and they are clutch as a team can get, and don't make mistakes.  It will take a quite good series to knock these guys off, and being a Braves fan, I hope someone does.

Movies I'm sad I didn't get to mention: Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, The Sandlot, Eight Men Out, and A League of Their Own.