Top Ten Spongebob Episodes

So as I pointed out a while ago, I am a big fan of Spongebob Squarepants.  I personally find it to be one of the most consistently funny shows ever made, and unlike other comedic cartoons (I'm looking at you Family Guy and South Park) the show doesn't often have to use "adult" situations (sex, politics, obscure references, violence) to create humor which I find to be a hallmark of good writing.  If you haven't seen it the premise is simple, a sponge named Spongebob lives in a Pineapple under the sea and goes about his everyday life with other characters that are ostensibly based on the 7 deadly sins in some manner.  But it is most likely you have seen it, but not to the extent I have, so let me present to you my top 10 favorite episodes, which I ranked in an unbiased way by giving each story a rating from 1-10 by going alphabetically down the list, then combining it's score with it's sister story (as it is a children's cartoon episodes are usually cut into two 11 minute stories) and basing my ratings off that.  I also want to point out that I was only familiar enough with the first 5 seasons of the show (as much as Netflix has) so those episodes are the only ones included so for seasons 6 and on, you are on your own, which is a pity because I think A Life in a Day/ Sun Bleached could have been a dark horse for the top 10.  So without further interruption, here are the episodes I think you need to watch.

10: Nasty Patty/ Idiot Box (Season 3) 17.4 Rating
Nasty Patty is likely a better episode watched as an adult than as a child, as it's premise is a spoof of the typical "body movie" where cohorts in a crime are trying to dispose of a body.  It is a pretty dark episode as the premise suggests, Spongebob and Mr. Krabs believe they have killed a health inspector by giving him a Krabby Patty that they sabotaged thinking that the health inspector was a fake trying to get free food.  It's highlights include the invention of the term "schmeckledorfed" and an increasingly insane Mr. Krabs telling the police that ice is a myth.  On the other hand, Idiot Box is a much more lighthearted episode based around the childish imagination of Spongebob and Patrick as opposed to Squidward's lack of imagination.  Spongebob and Patrick order a big-screen television solely for the purpose of playing in the box, and the whole time Squidward starts to feel like they are mocking him in the box.  This one is consistently funny and if I had to choose a highlight it would be the rainbow that appears between Spongebob's hands as he says imagination on multiple circumstances.

See! It even became a scarcely used meme!

#8T Dying for Pie/ Imitation Krabs (Season 2) 17.6 Rating

I really must be a dark person, the first two entries in this top 10 list are two of the very few episodes to acknowledge the concept of death.  Dying for Pie starts with Employee Brotherhood Day and Spongebob is all about it while Squidward has no idea that it existed, as Mr. Krabs requires Squidward get a gift, he buys a pie from a group of pirates conveniently in the parking lot, except they don't have actual pies, just bombs that look like pies.  As Mr. Krabs and Squidward believe Spongebob to have eaten the pie, a remorseful Squidward tries to give Spongebob a great last day.  My favorite part of the episode is Spongebob's gift to Squidward, a sweater made from his eyelashes.  Imitation Krabs is one of (if not the) best Plankton episodes where he makes a robot to replace Mr. Krabs in the Krusty Krab to trick Spongebob into giving him the secret formula.  Here's a classic highlight from the episode.

#8T Sleepy Time/ Suds (Season 1) 17.6 Rating
There is always a bit of nostalgia to the first season of any long running television show.  Sleepy Time is a great episode, and one of the few to make use of a majority of the main characters in the show, as Spongebob finds himself able to invade the dreams of his friends for a night and causes problems for each of them.  I love the concept of the episode and think each character's dreams are perfectly fitting for their personalities, it also stuns me that they were able to do this episode successfully in the first season.  My favorite part is Patrick's dream, it's so empty!  Suds addresses the concept of sickness as leaving the fridge open overnight causes Spongebob's house to freeze over and he catches the suds (a sponge's version of the cold), he tries to get medical help from Patrick because a mixture of reading old magazines and a cold stethoscope scares Spongebob away from wanting to see a real doctor.  When Spongebob actually sees a real doctor at the end, it creates a great scene that I believe was one of the first times Spongebob is shown as a real kitchen sponge in the real world.

This is seriously part of it..

#7 The Secret Box/ Band Geeks (Season 2) 17.7 Rating
This episode is one of my first memories of moving into my apartment last August, there was only one of my housemates with me for the week and we both loved Spongebob and I remember we watched this episode because he said it was one of his favorites.  The Secret Box revolves around Patrick having a secret box that he won't show Spongebob, and the rest of the episode is Spongebob trying to see what is in the box.  Not meaning to spoil it, the end of the episode is the best when Spongebob sees there is only a string inside the box and walks away thinking Patrick is an idiot, but then Patrick shows if you pull the string it opens a secret compartment that has an embarrassing photo of Spongebob from the Christmas party, but we never see the photo.  Band Geeks is simply one of the best storylines the show has ever run, this is a foregone conclusion that makes this episode worth watching alone.  Squidward's high school rival Squilliam returns to Bikini Bottom and is much more successful so Squidward lies about having a top-notch band and Squilliam allows the band to play in his place at the Bubble Bowl.  The rest of the episode is Squidward trying to make his untalented friends a band and hilarity.  Watch it, here's how it ends.

Secret TV Channel!

#6 Arrgh!/ Rock Bottom (Season 1) 18.1 Rating
We just took a big jump in ratings to get to this which I find pretty surprising given how good the last episode was.  Arrgh! is a great episode for both Patrick and Mr. Krabs, where on a slow day at the Krusty Krab, Spongebob and Patrick play a treasure hunting board game and invite Mr. Krabs to play, who then gets way too into the game and invites the other two to help him search for a real treasure.  There are many good parts from this one, Patrick mistaking east with "weast", Spongebob's "You're good" as Patrick scrapes up the boat, and PLASTIC!  Rock Bottom is a wacky episode.  Spongebob ends up getting stranded in a strange town, and I really cannot do this episode any justice with words.  Just let it be known that it caused the following poster (which I wish I could own) to be made and watch it yourself.

LOVE IT!

#5 Texas/ Walking Small (Season 1) 18.2 Rating

Believe it or not, this was the episode released immediately after the last one, the writers hit a really good streak down the middle of season 1 as I will point out later.  Texas is the first episode on the list that centers around Sandy as she becomes homesick and plans to leave Bikini Bottom to return to Texas.  Despite the fact that this episode mocks and entire state, it is a classic and features some great jokes.  Walking Small is another Plankton episode as he tries to get Spongebob to help him clear land for a new Chum Bucket by teaching him to be assertive.  The difference between being assertive and being "insertive" is one of my favorite parts of the episode, but probably one of the best Spongebob moments is when due to Spongebob's blissful ignorance of how to be mean he helps a stranger find buried treasure and offers to tie his shoe even though he is wearing sandals.  

Is that stupid or Texas?

#4 Grandma's Kisses/ Squidville (Season 2) 18.4 Rating

By now my more observant readers should be noticing that most of my favorite episodes come from the earlier part of the show, and that is completely correct.  From season 2 Grandma's Kisses introduces Spongebob's Grandma, and after visiting her and forgetting to wipe off a kiss mark on his forehead, Spongebob feels the need to grow up and stop acting like a baby.  While Patrick tries to help, he sees the benefits of behaving like a child and takes Spongebob's preferential treatment from his Grandma.  I plan to show you how to be an adult after this paragraph.  Squidville is the famous episode where Squidward gets tired of being neighbors with Patrick and Spongebob and moves to Tentacle Acres, a gated community for Squids.  This episode becomes increasingly funny as it goes on, but I will never forget how great it is when Squidward finds "Canned Bread" at the grocery store and the can has a caption that claims it is "Best Thing Since Sliced!"

#3 SB-129/ Karate Choppers (Season 1) 18.5 Rating
We have made our way over to another one of my former housemate's favorite episodes, he was always quite animate about how he believed SB-129 to be his favorite episode.  The episode revolves around Squidward again as he tries to evade Spongebob and Patrick and finds himself on a quest through the past, future and nowhere, before finding himself back in the same spot he began.  I can never fail to laugh at the part where Squidward discovers that everything is chrome in the future.  I have mentioned Karate Choppers in a previous post where I pointed out that I believed it to be a euphemism for sex, but upon watching it again it is equally likely to be about sex as drugs, so watch it and make your own opinion about what Spongebob and Sandy are doing in secret.

Future!

#2 Chocolate With Nuts/ Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V (Season 3) 18.6 Rating

This episode could very well be the best ever, it really is nearly flawless.  Chocolate With Nuts is the story of Spongebob and Patrick trying to get rich quick by selling chocolates door to door and features some of my favorite Patrick moments along the way.  If you don't know the highlight of this episode you have never seen the episode.  The fifth Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy episode is my personal favorite use of the duo, where Barnacle Boy gets fed up with being treated like a child and decides to join with the Dirty Bubble and Man-Ray to create Every Villain is Lemons (E.V.I.L).  The episode goes on the spoof comic book groups such as the Justice League and Avengers, and brings along a little more adult humor than normal.  It is truly a great one.

#1 Prehibernation Week/ Life of Crime (Season 2) 18.9 Rating

I have an admission to make, I rigged the voting so that this one will win.  It was the only episode I knew would make the top 10 and I knew it was my favorite episode.  Specifically Prehibernation Week, in which Spongebob and Sandy partake in dangerous sporting activities before Sandy has to hibernate, but Spongebob can't deal with the games and hides.  This episode contains at least 3 of my favorite jokes the show has ever made, and prominently features Pantera as background music, it is a gem.  My housemates and I even made up a drinking game to this which didn't last long as it was too taxing.  Life of Crime is a solid episode as well, where Spongebob and Patrick steal a balloon, and when it pops, go on the lam.  It spoofs movies and TV shows about convicts as well as instills the morals in children that stealing is wrong. It also has this.   

Rig a voting?  Uhhh, I can explain.

Frivolities

- #4 and #1 were consecutive episodes in season 2.

- #3, #8 (Sleepy Time/ Suds), #11 (Valentines Day/ The Paper), #6 and #5 were all consecutive episodes in the first season.

- All ten of these episodes were made before the movie.

- Whale of a Birthday/ Karate Island was the best episode from season 4 and ranked #23

- The Krusty Sponge/ Sing a Song of Patrick was the best episode from season 5 and ranked #35

- The pilot episode (Help Wanted/ Reef Blower/ Tea at the Treedome) ranked at #17.

- Christmas Who? was the top ranked 22 minute story and was #28

- The top 5 stories were Prehibernation Week (10), Rock Bottom and Shanghaied (9.6), and Chocolate with Nuts and Survival of the Idiots (9.5).

- Despite Survival of the Idiots being in the top 5, it's pairing with Dumped has it outside the top half of episodes.

- The only other episode I thought would make the top 10 before rating stories was Wet Painters/ Krusty Krab Training Video, which ranked 14th.

I have been planning to write this post for a while now and it took me nearly 2 and a half hours to write, so I hope someone finds interest in this, cause I need to go to bed.  As always, stay tuned.

Tangents With a Purpose!

I noticed the other day that despite the fact that we basically build our blogs off of each other's, Toninho and myself write our blogs in very different styles.  I tend to write my posts with a purpose in mind that I have previously planned on talking about, where he seems to sit down and write anything that comes to his mind.  I admire how when I read his posts I never know where it is going to do next as he always goes on entertaining tangents that sometimes I don't even know where they came from.  I don't go on tangents as often (and when I do they are usually single sentences thrown in parentheses like this one now) and maybe I should start doing that more often, just writing whatever comes to mind and only finishing my posts when I decide they are finished.  So lets go off to lovely Tangentland!

Not to be confused with tangent planes.

I was browsing my blog the other day and realized that it has been a while since I have spoken anything about my personal life, according to my label "dating" other than my one about interactions with people I haven't really posted anything that was even remotely about my personal life since my personal favorite post where I compared my relationship with being a baseball fan to a real world relationship because of Ryan Braun's positive test for PEDs.  I am happy that for one reason or another he didn't have to serve the suspension and is responding to the nay-sayers by having another fine season thus far.  But back to my personal life, my lack of writing about it has simply been because I have no current prospects and haven't for nearly a year and that saddens me.  But it is hard to meet people when you spend a few months living home alone in what Toninho and myself have referred to as a "wasteland for young adults," so since not many strangers (male or female) stumble into my bedroom I didn't meet many people over that span of time.  Then I went back to school for a month before my graduation ceremony to see my college friends again before we all go away to our respective places, and since my main focus was to give my friends proper goodbyes, I didn't concentrate on meeting new people for a month-long fling.  Then after graduation I started working the night shift at my family's shop so it would be creepy if I met anybody there since it is a family business and even if it wasn't, it's an industrial setting so anybody there is a total yuckfest.

My sentiments exactly

Since loneliness kinda sucks, I gotta find out what I am going to do going forward.  I am going to be going to a new school in the Fall, one that doesn't have a male dominated student body!  So for now I'm going to hold out and hope that people there are more compelling than the ones I've already met, but that doesn't mean there aren't people I have already met.  My sister mentioned that someone she knew that just graduated was going to the same school and doing math, but there are multiple things massively wrong with that.  First, the age difference is way too large at this point in life.  When I was just entering college I was a much different person than I am today, I wanted to do different things, had a very limited set of opinions and intelligent thoughts, was just starting what I want to call my second childhood (currently starting what is probably my third childhood) and my lifestyle was a lot most improvised since it was my first taste of independence.  Second, it is very possible that that girl would be in one of the classes that I am going to be a TA for, and that is just wrong on multiple levels that I don't even have to explain (or I've tried dating a former student before and it wasn't a great experience.)  There are other reasons but I really don't want to keep listing them and keep going on.

I know how she can get an A!

 I've also had two people tell me that the girl I went to junior prom with transferred into the school as well.  I don't know why they felt the need to tell me that since I haven't spoken to her in over 4 years, and I wonder if people are telling her that I'm doing grad school, but I think that is unlikely.  I hadn't thought of trying to rekindle that in those 4 years since I last spoke with her, but I guess it wouldn't be a terrible idea if it came about naturally.  Speaking of girls I have had vague romantic interest in over my life, when I think back on who they were there are a few that I can't recall what I saw in them which makes me feel bad because it suggest that I am not at all sentimental about the people I've met (which I am) and that I have no consistent desires in my life.  So right on cue I reach the part of the Childish Gambino album when this song plays (Editor's note: This used to be a link to the song "Heartbeat").


I think that is probably the best song on an album that I found to be surprisingly good, especially as it takes a certain type of hip hop for me to like it.  But the best part of the album is that it is made completely by Donald Glover, who I always knew of through his work with Derrick Comedy, and knew for a little bit that he was an actor on the show Community (which I've never seen) and a writer for 30 Rock (which I have watched an like a lot), but just discovered his stand-up a few months ago.  After seeing two of his stand-up specials I was convinced he is the first comic that I have really liked since Dave Chappelle.  For the most part, even though I love the craft of stand-up comedy, I have not liked any of the popular ones in recent days.  I know that he has started to get popular recently, but I hope he blows up because he is a talented individual to be able to do all these things successfully.  I would really like to try doing stand-up someday but I don't think any of the bits I have thought of so far are too funny, especially since when I try to tell people them they don't seem to laugh much more than just a chuckle, but in reality most of what stand-ups say isn't much more than a chuckle if you took them out of the pressure situation of being on a stage in front of strangers.  So since I have never had any problems talking in front of a lot of people, maybe I would be good at it.

Speak for yourself.

Since no natural tangents came to mind I'll talk about baseball, this was my response to hearing the Mariners traded Ichiro to the Yankees.  It saddens me to see him leave the team he has spent his entire MLB career with and I can only wonder what is going to become of him now, is he going to be a starter after this year?  Is he going to get 3000 hits?  Is he going to get the World Series ring he left Seattle for?  Is he going to use this change of scenery to get his OBP back above .300?  Only time can tell what is going to become of him, but this has been an entertaining baseball season, and maybe I will be able to get back to writing for Penultimate Round Pick soon to talk about some of my favorite stories of the season.  I am not very good at tangenting, I have the urge to revisit all of the topics I just talked about in a lot more detail, it is just the way I write.  So I'm going to leave it at that, expect to see me return to form next time and keep on a set topic the whole time.  Here's a video to celebrate my attempt at writing in tangents.

My Current State of Affairs

Hello all!  It has been a while since I have last written about almost anything, so I guess now is as good a time as ever to just write about what is going on in my life.  The calendar just turned over to November, and it's becoming that very special time in the college student's life where they start to not care as much about their classes as they probably should.  I can only speculate as to the reasons why I feel like this, one of the reasons is probably the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday (which I have already weighed in my opinions on before), but it can also be due to the fact that most students have been at school for around 10 weeks already this semester, and that is a fair amount of time to be burnt out.  In my case this year, it may be due to the dangerous ailment known as senioritis.

I still love Hand Turkeys!

My senioritis is lying itself on especially thick because this is my last semester of college, in a little more than a month I will be a college graduate, and just like every other grown-up out there.  It is actually a little scary in general, I enjoy being a child and I don't feel like a lot of the things I do on a daily basis work very well with the working adult schedule.  But instead of just regurgitating what has been said before, I will just link to my buddy Toninho's article where he basically covers all that needs to be said.  More importantly than my whiny little tangent there is that I have yet to know what I am going to do once I become a so-called adult.  I have never really had a lot of ambitions growing up, and I've rarely had an answer when people asked me what
I wanted to be when I grew up.  In general, I made math my college major because I felt that I wasn't old enough to decide what I wanted to do with my life, and since I was talented at math I would just do that and it is an open enough subject that I would probably be able to jump into anything with it.  Well, four years later I nearly have my math degree, and I was mistaken when I thought that companies would be excited to find someone with a math background, they mostly think that I know how to program.  Having said that I have found myself stumbling upon what seems to be a very exciting path in life, at the career fair at school I happened to talk to a consulting firm that was very interested in hiring math majors and other problem solvers!  It was very exciting and I even had an interview with them last week!  Hopefully I will hear back from them soon and it will be a positive response, but if not I think I'll manage to come out okay.

Aww shit!  I could have just learned math from this picture!

While waiting to hear back about the job I've found that I have come across two new addictions (well, one is just a renewed addiction.)  The first is that I have found myself watching a lot of Spongebob Squarepants again, I love cartoons and some cartoons just transcend age and continue to be funny and entertaining no matter how old you are, among the ranks of these cartoons are Spongebob, Doug (obviously on those two), Hey Arnold, and Rocko's Modern Life, while the middle two are still good because they spread positive messages in fairly well-told stories to children, the latter two are the finest examples I have ever seen of a show for all ages.  Both shows are capable of hiding little pieces of adult humor seamlessly into their episodes and you wouldn't even know the difference as a child.  Take for example, the episode "Karate Choppers" from the first season of Spongebob.  When I watched it a month or two ago I remembered it as being exactly what it seems to be at face value, a story about Spongebob and Sandy doing karate with each other.  But now that I am more mature, I watched the episode and was surprised to find that the entire episode is a slightly veiled euphemism for sex, I won't go into how it is, you can watch the episode yourself.  But for now you can help yourself to seeing how much subtlety Rocko's Modern Life lacked.

As for my other new addiction, it comes to me directly from Toninho.  For a long while he has been urging me to play Batman: Arkham Asylum, and I have never found the time or a copy to play with, but recently I was able to borrow it from another friend of mine, and it is almost life changing.  Up until this point as far as comic book characters go, I have primarily been a Spider-man fan, and have had a moderate respect for the Batman, particularly from his movies (especially the one from the 60s!).  But I have found that not only is Batman: Arkham Asylum (and it's sequel Batman: Arkham City) a great game, but it also does a great job of giving in-depth descriptions of nearly all of Batman's most powerful villains.  I think that is my favorite part of the game, finding all of the information on the villains of Gotham City and being able to learn about the true story of the Batman.  Playing through the game, I have found that although the Joker is the most popular villain and probably is the most interesting, my favorite one is the Scarecrow.  It is likely that my taste for him comes from the parts he is featured in in Arkham
 


Another big thing that has happened in my life was that my second oldest brother (I have two older brothers) just recently bought a house with his girlfriend and they moved in and bought a puppy!  I am very happy for him, but it does do something to point out a lot how much I am different from my brothers.  They have both stayed around the area where we grew up, for school, for work, and now for living, but as I was getting to earlier, I have no idea where in the world I am going to be in a couple months, it is really weird.  They have also both been in long term relationships (one is married) and then you look at me, its not that I am unbearable to look at (on the other hand, maybe it is) but I haven't had a whole lot of luck with women in recent days.  It is probably been for lack of trying, it has been some time since I have really shown an interest in anybody in particular, and I don't know if its my problem or that of everyone else, so I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on everybody else.  All I have to do is continue to be the great catch that I am and someone will come fishing for it.  Well, I figure that is about enough to talk about for today, hopefully I will be able to blog again more often and maybe even come up with some more good ideas.  So I'll catch you all later.

Get off my property you damn kids!