Top 10 List! Favorite Youtube Videos!

I love top ten lists.  I love Youtube, it is perhaps one of the best things the Internet has caused to happen, and one would be hard pressed to name many more entertaining things out there.  So I would like to salute Youtube and it's quality programming by listing my top ten favorite Youtube videos out there.  This list will by no means be a definitive list, as I'm sure I will both forget videos and I will find more videos to take the lower ones' spots, but this is what I can come up with now.  The rules for this list are gonna be that I will only allow one video from any series of videos, no professionally done work (meaning no movie clips or official music videos), and no clips that got famous before the advent of Youtube but ended up there anyways.  So with that done, here it is.

10. Bed Intruder Song
This is why I stipulated that there be no "official" music videos on my list, because this is technically a music video, but was released specifically for Youtube audiences so I will allow it.  Let me note that this probably should be higher on the list, but I decided to put it on at number 10 because I care about you!  Yes, I care about you, the readers, and I put this as early as I possibly could to let you have some great reading music.  I hope you enjoy this video and song, and even if you don't I guarantee within the hour you will be subconsciously singing it to yourself.  My advice, applicable to regular music too is to not try to fight the infectious catchiness but to embrace and enjoy it.  I would also be willing to recommend any other video my Auto-Tune the News, especially the Double Rainbow song (the original Double Rainbow video barely failed to make this list... Damn I spoiled it).

9. Pretty Much Everywhere, It's Gonna Be Hot
If you watch this video and don't find it all that entertaining, you are not alone.  I was so completely baffled by this video and how it was able to ascertain so many views when I first discovered it.  But luckily this is why I was able to find and linked to a version of the video that plays the video on loop 5 times in a row, because the more you see this video the more entertaining it becomes.  I really wish I was in that news studio when it happened so I could know exactly what happened here.  Was Arthur completely stoned off his mind that he had to register her comment before laughing?  Did he not find the joke all that funny, but the teleprompter told him to laugh so he sarcastically did the goofiest laugh he was capable of?  Was there something inherently funny or interesting about the jacket itself?  Why does Arthur's jacket say "TV" on it?  Is this a local report or is this national Haiti broadcasting?  And finally, where is Arthur now and is he okay after the earthquakes?

8. MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!
Sure the description and the title of this video suggest that this video is, in actuality, an early teaser for a new Mortal Kombat (which is amongst my favorite video game series by the way) movie.  But I am not going to give this the benefit of the doubt and I will declare it, for now, just an extremely well produced and well acted Youtube video (ignoring the fact the guy who plays Jax was in The Dark Knight).  This is a little late, but I figure most would assume from the name, but this video is really violent and graphic, do not watch if you don't enjoy violence.  Personally, I am a fan of the Mortal Kombat brand so if this is indeed a trailer for an upcoming big screen film, I will be there the first day, but the fact this video kicks total ass isn't bad either.  Having said that I will have total biases against total characters and want to see two things should this be made into a complete movie.  First, they need to accept the fact the Moral Kombat creators have always seemed to favor Sub-Zero to Scorpion, so Sub-Zero needs to get the last laugh in that fight.  And secondly, they introduced Baraka into the mix, so I will be completely ripshit if there is not a single Kung Lao versus Baraka fight, as that is one of the most secretly cool rivalries in the Mythologies.

If this battle isn't included, I will be disappointed

7. I'm the Juggernaut Bitch

If you are a Youtube video, and you eventually get referenced in a big budget movie (lets ignore the fact X-men 3 was complete garbage) you are probably one of the best videos ever.  The best part of this video is that it likely is what the X-men cartoons would have been if it was the intention to make the most ghetto and offensive superhero cartoon ever.  The entire video is based upon them all being pimps, hoes, rapists and the Juggernaut, who is somehow a collection of all of the above.  If you know not to take a single second of this video seriously, it is one of the funniest and fun to quote youtube videos made.  It is hard to see this video and then do anything impressive or badass and not want to claim "I'm the Juggernaut bitch!"  Also to not be forgotten are also "I like your raincoat," anything talking about your "pimp cane" or one of my personal favorite quotes is Wolverine's only line "Hey what up?  How 'bout I take this shit off, y'know

6. Leprechaun in Alabama

I enjoy crazy news clips on Youtube, this video is a gleaming example, and will be used to represent crazy news clips in general, which should not be allowed on this list because they were not originally made to be on Youtube.  This is my favorite news clip on the site for a few reasons, first the fact that the premise of the video is completely ridiculous.  Second, the people they interview and the things they say are completely ridiculous.  Third, "Who else see the Leprechaun say YEAH!?", " Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" *extremely satisfied smile*.  Fourth, the "amateur sketch", I mean seriously?  Fifth, the guy who had the right idea and wanted to uproot the tree cause "I wanna know where the gold at!"  And lastly, I love this video because of the reaction you see from the newscasters after the clip is over, which is more or less "Did we really have nothing better to be showing today?  A story about a Leprechaun?  A FUCKING LEPRECHAUN?"  This will forever go into the annals of time to be amongst the worst cases ever seen of investigative journalism.

5. Demarcus and Chang

Even though it is a few seconds longer than the previously mentioned "Pretty Much Everywhere, It's Gonna Be Hot" this video has probably the highest comedy density of anything on Youtube.  Running a short 30 seconds long, this video first spoofs cheesy introductions for daytime talk shows by having probably the best and most stereotypical music for a daytime talk show.  BE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO BEFORE THIS COMMENT.  But it also proves something to you that you have likely wondered for a long time but never bothered to ask anybody for a truthful answer, nor have probably shown the tendencies to make someone realize it, but you are indeed a racist asshole.  But it doesn't show you this to insult you, but rather to make you notice that you are likely not alone, and as long as it isn't violent, it isn't necessarily a bad thing.  They exploit the fact that we do all stereotype, and obviously we see an Asian guy and a black guy, and we see the stereotypical names on the screen, what else are we to assume.  I'm pretty sure it wouldn't even occur to most people ahead of time that the names could be assigned in the manner the video shows them to be.  So much respect to Demarcus and Chang (if those are your real names!) to come up with such a clever video and to release for all of us to enjoy.

4. How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend in 64 Easy Steps
This is one of the few videos on Youtube that is infinitely accessible.  You will be able to relate to this video if you have ever been in a long term relationship, known someone in a long term relationship, have once heard about someone in a long term relationship, or have just in one way or another thought about the concept of a long term relationship.  Everybody knows that in any long term relationship the breakup is never the end, and there is still much to go before you eventually fade out of each other's lives (don't argue me on this one, it will happen without fail.)  For example, someone once told me that 94% of relationships that start in the summer before you start college go as following.  You date over the summer and things go well, you separate at college and things don't go as well, you break up during Columbus Day weekend, then hook back up during Thanksgiving break, and eventually break up just after New Years, and then let it go.  This video is basically the same concept except for the grown-ups.  I completely love this video, love the maker's dry humor, and love the way he draws the pictures as he describes them.  I completely suggest to everyone to check out more of the videos from his "Tales of Mere Existence" series, and most notably his second best video (which is just as sarcastically true) "What Would Penis Do?"  Also worth noting in this video is the "Happy Valentines Day (snicker)" found in the video's description. 


3. Drinking Out of Cups
Ignoring all the different theories regarding the source of the audio, this is easily the most ridiculous video I have ever seen and completely love it for that reason.  The entire video just shows an animated lizard in various scenery, ranging from the woods to under the see, and he is just spewing verbal diarrhea the entire time.  But this isn't just any verbal diarrhea, it is perhaps the most amazingly quotable thing I have ever listened to in my life.  Throughout my life I have been able to apply lines from this video to my own life and although most of the time it is followed with a blank stare, it is endlessly entertaining to myself.  I am now going to make a list of things that you will never be able to regard in the same way due to this video, lizards, knots, cups, balloons, walkways, floors, chairs, lighthouses, towels, seahorses and seashells.  So for the good of yourself, and everyone around you, watch this video if you have not seen it and spread the wealth.  There is no way you will regret it.

2. Rejected
So there are two things about this video that probably should have kept me from putting it on this list, first I have already linked to it before and I wanted to talk about videos that I hadn't had the chance to talk about yet, and secondly, this video was nominated for a mother fucking Academy Award.  The latter should instantly make it invalid for this list, since I did say "no professionally done work", but you know what?  Rules were meant to be broken and there is no better short film ever made that I should break this rule for.  So to discuss this video, I am going to point out that it is the perfect blend of the two videos that preceded it, it has the gritty cartoon style of "How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend in 64 Easy Steps" but instead of using it to convey a message of complete sarcasm and truth, it is used to convey a group of circumstances that are even more ridiculous and random than "Drinking Out of Cups."  The best part about the fact that it fuses these two videos together is that it does better than each in their own game, this video is nearly perfection.  It amazes me that there even exists a video that I could hold in higher regard than I do for Rejected, but since it is only ranked at number 2, and there must be a number 1, there is a video that I clearly do hold in higher regard....

1. Unforgivable

If you have never seen this video before it is unforgivable, and it is even more unforgivable if you don't like this video.  If anybody ever asked me to explain the point of Youtube to me, I would simply send them a link to this video.  It is merely a black man in the woods with a few of his friends and a video camera, what ensues is pure unedited and extremely vulgar genius.  The pure quotability and excess of hilarious situations and things that are said is amazing in this video.  It leaves me completely speechless, and I wouldn't be able to do it justice anyways, just watch it and enjoy.  Also it wouldn't be a bad idea to watch any of it's sequels either.

Too many Honorable mentions to name...

Project Yancey: Episode 13: Doug's Cool Shoes

We find Doug in a tight spot, in his basketball game he's at the free throw line at the end of the game when his team is down one point, but he gets successfully psyched out my Roger and his buddies by pointing out Doug isn't even wearing cool shoes.  As devastating as a blow this is Doug doesn't really start worrying until we hear another plight in the saga of Skunky Beaumont (deserving of it's own series altogether, maybe I'll do it when I'm done Project Yancey), all the girls think Skunky is really cute, but his shoes are a deal breaker, and if he had cool shoes he'd be getting all the girls he wants.  Skeeter also adds insult to injury by showing his shoes off to a girl who totally digs it, this causes Doug to become so dejected he even passes up on the opportunity to shoot some hoops with Patti after school.  Even Mr. Dink got some fancy new exercise shoes, and even though he never says it we should assume they are very expensive.  Once things seem to get their worst, all the commercials Doug sees on TV are about shoes!  But one reaches out to Doug, the Sky Davis Air Jets, the shoes apparently worn by Sky Davis who seems to be a pretty good baller, and he is even gonna be at the Four Leaf Clover mall the next day to autograph Air Jets!  Doug goes to the signing but bypasses the celebrity in the store but instead finds a crazy employee lady who measures his feet and even though Doug measures in at a size 6b, she brings him the last pair or Air Jets that are size 24eee.  While she's out perusing the back room, Doug hallucinates that his old shoes are talking to him, and they are very disappointed in his behavior and even draw tears.  Doug finally finds himself at the checkout counter, but he only has enough for one shoe, so he's sent packing and none other than Roger takes the last pair.  Saddened by his misfortune, Doug sits on the bench and pities himself, that is until none other than Sky Davis takes up a seat next to him (how the hell does Doug keep meeting these celebrities at the most opportune times?)  And get this, Sky Davis compliments his shoes and is even wearing a pair much similar except blue, since Doug and Sky are "sole" brothers, they exchange signatures on each other's shoes and Doug feels good about his shoes again.  The next day at school Roger challenges Doug to a 1-on-1 game, but trips and falls due to his comically large shoes, and Doug takes the ball to the other end for a wide open jumper and wins.  So in the end the plain old sneakers prevail, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yo dawg, I don't think those fit.

Shoes, shoes, shoes, oh my god shoes, lets get some shoes...  Okay since I've maxed out on my youtube phenomenon quota for the week we shall leave that at that (but I do enjoy it.)  First and foremost, I really hope girls aren't judging me based on my shoes (unless it's socks and sandals or Crocs) it's pretty lame, plus my shoes are cool.  But on a more serious note, I like shoes, I probably think more about my shoes than most guys, but I think that's excusable.  I have 4 pairs of shoes that I typically rotate around, and wear them based on the clothing I'm wearing (yeah I match it up, you got a problem with that) and have even been known to pick my clothes for the day knowing which shoes I want to wear.  But another interesting aspect is that I am a big fan of Adidas cross-training shoes from the 70s, namely Gazelles and Sambas.  I'm in a transition phase with my black pair of shoes (New Balance 374's which I'm also a big fan of), so only 3 of my 4 shoes are Adidas, and two of them are Gazelles.  The taste runs in my family and my oldest brother is the same shoe size as me so I've worn a few pairs of his to a point where it has almost become an obsession.  I have worn 4 pairs of Gazelles in my lifetime (Navy, Tan, Black, Royal Blue, not nearly enough colors), and 2 pairs of Sambas (Black and white), you know what scratch that last comment it has become an obsession.  They are durable, beautiful, comfortable shoes that can be worn in any situation (save for formal settings), and I am quite sure that I will wear Adidas for the rest of my life.  So in the end, I know where Sky Davis is coming from, even though he has his work shoes (basketball shoes for him), but when he just wants to kick it and relax, he always manages to revert back to his old school simple sneakers, and that's my style too.  So yeah I know this one was kinda boring and it definitely wasn't a story, so consider this an entrance to my mind and how I think, because I do think about these things.  (P.S. Fuck Nike)

Jealousy of astronomical levels!  Totally diggin those white and black ones.

Project Yancey: Episode 7: Doug Rocks

There once was a time when Doug Funnie didn't listen to music, but that time was long ago, hes been a huge fan of the Beets ever since Skeeter first played their songs for him and showed him the power of rock.  One day when Doug went by to visit Skeeter, he walked in amidst an extreme air guitar session to the Beets' super hit "Killer Tofu", although he was a little confused at first, once he started to harness the power of his own air guitar, he was hooked and couldn't stop shredding.  After a short time, Doug was trained to become just as big of a "Beetnik" as Skeeter already was (and Skeeter had the wigs, that's really saying something).  Fun fact, much like how the Beatles were originally named the "Silver Beatles", the Beets were originally named the "Pickled Beets".  After almost being killed from the sonicboom emitted from Mr. Dink's very expensive music device, the two buddies run into Roger, the bearer of good and bad news.  The good news is more like excellent news, the Beets are playing a surprise concert in Bluffington that night.  But Roger also comes with bad news, being that he himself had purchased the last two tickets.  Doug and Skeeter are disappointed in this but get a great stroke of luck by being able to win 2 front row tickets to the show by answering 3 trivia questions, and Doug even accidentally got the last one right (Beets Me).  But as is normal in Doug's life the ups come with the downs and Skeeter subsequently gets [in the words of his father] "that thing were you can't leave your room cause I said so", or grounded in layman's terms.  This is where Doug shows exactly where his loyalty is at, instead of deserting Skeeter for this chance of a lifetime (only Patti Mayonnaise can make him do that), he chooses to stick with Skeeter to let him ride out this night of groundedness.  But Skeeter soon becomes ungrounded as the sound from he and Doug having a jam session annoys his father, so they go to the Honker Burger.  Bored by the loneliness of an empty Honker Burger, they start doing some more air guitar, and really get into it.  They get into it so much that they don't even notice that the Beets themselves pull up in the Honker Burger parking lot and start watching them.  But once they do notice the Beets are there, they get to meet them and even (coolest thing ever) have a air-jam session with the band.  The meeting proves short, but the Beets were sure to throw them some tour jackets before they left.  Roger tries to brag about being at the show, but little does he know he doesn't have shit to brag about.



Here's a fun topic, I've been to quite a few concerts in my day, I could talk about my first one, but that can be put aside for now.  I would like to talk about the time I went with a few of my friends to see Pearl Jam.  It was a summer concert so we showed up extra early to do a little tailgating and play some Baggo before entering the arena.  The trip itself was interesting as I believe we got a little lost at one point, but the real interesting part was our lunch/dinner at the local Friendly's restaurant.  We had this like 50-something Eastern European lady as our waitress, and damn she was weird.  She kept on making jokes that were a little strange to us but may have been lost in translation from her native language (like talking about how she wants to eat all of our food as she was placing it on the table).  One of my friends also got an abnormally large spoon for his ice cream leading to a few quotes from the youtube phenomenon "Rejected", mostly the start where a stick figure is holding an abnormally big spoon and just says "My spoon is too big!"  Fast forward to entering the show though, my first two friends had already cleared the ticket scanners, but for some reason the friend who had bought my ticket was encountering some troubles, as well as myself.  It appears that he had bought tickets for the show 2 nights previous, and our other friends had the correct day.  I couldn't believe it was happening and was legitimately hysterical about it.  We waited in the box office line to hopefully be able to buy tickets for that night, we even met a guy who had the same troubles as us except with some prime seats.  By some amazing stroke of luck, we were able to find out that if we went to a different window (with a much shorter line) they were allowing people who didn't attend the last show to get replacement tickets for this night's show and we were saved!  This show currently stands as the third best concert I have ever gone to, and it was an amazing time with some of my good friends (except for the fight that almost started when some random guy threw a lit cigarette at the kid in front of us).  It was one of the great times of my life to this date, and I now check the date on the tickets whenever that friend buys tickets on my behalf.

If you don't know Pearl Jam, this picture sums up everything you need to know.