I would first like to give kudos to someone from my hometown. Recently I found out that whoever it was had a picture featured on the show Tosh.0, the picture should be posted below and I would like to tell cupcake boy that hes my idol and I want to give him a great big hug.
 |
| Sir you are my new idol! And you love cupcakes! |
Recently Doug found out he had talent (even though there is nothing in this episode that suggests so, but we'll let that slide), and it all started in Mrs. Wingo's class when she was handing around the sign up sheet for the talent show, and Roger unwillingly signed Doug's name. To avoid school-wide humiliation by learning a talent Doug decides to go into the attic to find something in Uncle Happy's old clown trunk (I'm gonna note that the someone named Happy Funnie should be a clown, or a hockey player turned golfer) and finds a dummy whom he names Buster. The convenient book "How to Become a Ventriloquist in One Day" that was also in the trunk told Doug to pronounce B's by making a D sound, which leads to the catchphrase "The doy dought the dasketdall." Doug gets so excited about this new talent that he decides to give his family a sneak preview, his parents point out amongst themselves that Doug's lips are moving and Judy says some hipster bullshit. So now Doug goes on into the auditorium at school ready to do his dummy act, that is until he looks out at the crowd and becomes extremely nervous. Mr. Dink tells Doug hes scheduled to go first, but Doug asks to not be first and Mr. Dink obliges, giving Doug more time to (literally) sweat it out. While Roger is on stage rockin out with his band, the ulcers, Skeeter loses his ocarina (which gets eaten by Roger's cat), and pulls the old "cat ate the ocarina" excuse, and Mr. Dink says he should be more original next time. The next to go is Patti, who is a bit nervous, but after a few nice words from Doug goes out there and kills it. This inspires Doug to go out there and give it hell, but Mr. Dink doesn't hear Doug and has Chaulky go next, who is doing a double (don't say rainbow, don't say rainbow) dummy act, this really sucks for Doug. And when Doug finally goes out we get a cut to someone in the crowd who's first reaction is "Oh no not another ventriloquist" and gives the thumbs down. Once Doug thinks this is bad, Buster's head comes off and Judy says some more hipster bullshit. Doug's next resort is to sing the eency weency spider song, until Skeeter comes to the rescue and acts out as the dummy's head! This massively helps Doug and everything (once again) turns out right. Also I allowed Doug's original comment to slide because he does admit he didn't find out his talent after all.
 |
| Kids got skillzzzzzzzz!! |
I got talents. I will mess you up in a game of billiards. You stand no chance in a game of Mario Golf. I'm a pretty solid goalkeeper. I'm so polite and likable that the guy at the sub shop gave me a sub for free. In the words of Mr. Daniel Tosh (if I didn't forget my honorary ode at the beginning this should be my second mention of Tosh for those of you counting at home) "I'm better than you. Nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo." But I'm gonna defer these awesome aspects of myself because I can tell a drinkin' story and I haven't told one in some time. Back home I've found myself to be something of a talent at what some like to call pong, some also like to call it beiruit (I know every guy brags about their skills but I'm for real.) Teams that I was on hold the house records at a majority of the friends' houses that I typically party at, and have an unreal record in lefty-righty games, which for those who don't know that's when your left hand and right hand act as teammates. This also translates to my life at college but I don't play a lot here because it just seems really unsanitary to me, even though I did almost naked mile two of my friends while I was shooting lefty-righty. I also have the joke I always say that I'm Clint Eastwood because "I finish things" (go see Gran Torino if you don't get that joke). But at risk of sounding like one of those tools who will go on bragging about how they are a "ruit champ" or something like that I'm gonna cut this short and point out my true talent is math and I would wreck you at it.
 |
| I finish things. |
No comments:
Post a Comment