The episode begins and cues the cheesy stereotypical game show music because Patti is on the theoretical game show "Your Saturday Night" where she is deciding between three possible ways to spend her Saturday night. The first is writing an extra credit paper on the mating habits of some fly with Mrs. Wingo, the second is staying at home and washing her hair (which probably does take a whole night with that perm of hers doesn't it?), and the last is exploring the mating habits of human beings (albeit the most purely innocent ones) by going to the tri-county fair with Doug Funnie! The time has come when she has to make a decision, and in her lack of decisiveness, Doug thinks to himself about how much he would love the first date of his life to be with Patti Mayonnaise. This whole idea comes to mind when Doug and Skeeter see the sign for the tri-county fair which is the next day, as they discuss this Patti comes by and Doug gets a genius idea. Based on his blank stare and being zoned out, Skeeter knows exactly what Doug is thinking and suggests they can do a group thing with them two, Porkchop, Bee Bee (Skeeter's gal) and Patti, and maybe Patti could even sit next to him on the giant Ferris wheel! As Doug imagines how glorious that could be, it is the two of them on the Ferris wheel, and Doug is serenading her on his banjo with a tune so great I need to write the lyrics, "You and me go round and round, from the sky to the ground, with the moonlight high above, looking at you could be love." So when they get back to Doug's house, they get out the phone book and have Doug call Patti up, he gets really nervous that she will reject him so it takes a try or two, but he finally connects with her and clearly shows his lack of experience, even Skeeter rolls his eyes a few times amazed that Doug is so clumsy with his words. When he can't remember why he called, Porkchop and Skeeter help him by holding up a sign that says "go to the fair stupid" which Doug stupidly repeats word for word. Perhaps not caring that Doug just called her stupid, Patti accepts and Doug falls back in his chair full of excitement. Unfortunately the first thing that happens when they meet up at the fair is that Roger finds them and decides to tag along with them. Since they are at a fair, the only thing to do is to play games for stuffed animals. Doug is pretty much the only one of them not showered in cheap stuffed animals by nightfall and their decision to go on the Ferris wheel, and worse than that Doug's confidence is ruined by Patti even rooting for Roger in the games! So Doug goes to the Ferris wheel and sits hoping that Patti will come sit next to him, something that manages to happen shortly after, and when she asked if she could sit with him, Doug's face stretched into such a large deformed smile, I swore the episode was going to segue into the Black Hole Sun music video (by the way, Superunknown is probably the 3rd best album of the 90's in my mind.) It turns out this is the fastest Ferris wheel on Earth, not quite as romantic, but they have a good time on it and even afterwards Patti helps Doug out of the seat and he holds on to her hand as the fair's fireworks go off, Doug is totally loving it. I need to quote Doug for how cool it was, "Even if it was only for a second, even if she was only helping me off the Ferris wheel, Patti Mayonnaise and I held hands at the tri-county fair for a solid 20 seconds!"
They are having a blast! The teddy bear looks a little calm for being on such an exciting ride though...
So now that we have seen Doug's first date (it was technically a "Group Thing", but you gotta give the kid some credit), it would be proper for me to talk about my first date, but unfortunately it wasn't very interesting, plus it was already touched on a little in a previous article. So rather than do that, I think I will discuss one of my more intriguing situations of going on "group things". This happened a little more than a year and a half ago, during the summer when I was home from school. I spent my time working at a local grocery store, which I must say does a good job of hiring an attractive slew of cashiers, and although I was older than most of them by at least a year, it was my last year of being able to work there where a majority of the workers were within a "dateable" age range for myself. So knowing this ahead of time I went to work and tried to make my good impressions, and it didn't take too long until I made two of them, both of which were rather attractive girls and also happened to be best friends. So before long a friend of mine as well as myself were invited to visit them at a nearby beach where they were vacationing, and since this friend of mine was recently on a date with one of them, we (read: me) kind of assumed it was a "group thing". So when the day finally came it was a really confusing situation since things didn't work out with my friend's date and I figured the other one was into me and we were gonna go with that flow. So when we got there the tables had been turned and we had switched up the sides, which I really didn't react to but definitely should have. For some reason I was unable to adapt to the change and turn my attentions to the girl that was clearly giving me more attention, so I spent most of the day basically sending myself into a spiral that I was too dumb to easily avoid. Either that or it wasn't meant to be a date-esque meeting anyways and I thought too much into it. All I know was that in retrospect it wasn't a bad experience at all, and maybe next time I find myself in such a position I will be able to not screw myself over, but theres no use in crying over spilled milk, you just gotta ride along and find a store that is still open so you can buy more milk and attempt to not spill this milk, and even if you do spill it and you think it's too late, gas stations are usually open 24/7 and you can still buy milk there, and as long as you don't spend all your money on milk that you go on to spill, theres no excuse in crying over spilled milk because you can just get some more. I guess what I'm trying to say is theres a lot of fish in the sea so get out of your little lake. But I can cry because it was raining so I didn't even go to the beach that day.
Unfortunately I can't think of a picture that would apply to this story, so I will explain why I've been writing so few articles lately. I've had work and this...
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