Thursday, October 14, 2010

Project Yancey: Episode 18: Doug's Doodle

Operation Wingo (not to be confused with Project Yancey) is underway, secret agent Doug Funnie, is on the job, and successfully puts together a pretty funny ripoff of James Bond movie introductions.  As he uses a grappling hook to climb to the top of the school he tells us what is at stake, the entire mission and two-thirds of his Social Studies grade, this is surely a dangerous mission, but we are reassured when he claims Danger is his middle name.  Any Doug fan knows this is a lie, and a lie he immediately fesses up to by pointing out his middle name is Yancey (I really hope everybody already knew that's where the title "Project Yancey" came from, but if you didn't there it is), and Porkchop zooms by him up the wall making him lose his control and hang from the rope.  We will accept his next comment that Danger is in fact his nickname, because he is swinging from a rope at what he claims to be 50 feet, and he starts wondering about how he got in this situation [cue flashback fade].  It was Doug in class, and instead of doing his work, he was making a masterpiece of a doodle of Mrs. Wingo, making sure to hide it as she walks by.  It's now that Mrs. Wingo asks for the students to pass in their essays, and Doug gets excited he gets to see and talk to Patti.  Completely smitten by Patti, Doug passes in his essay along with the doodle he forgot he was hiding below it.  Once Doug realizes this, things get rough and the daydreams take over, first taking us to Funnie family dinner being interrupted by a crying Mrs. Wingo in the form of his doodle asking why he did this to her.  It is at this moment I think Doug completely snaps, the world around him disappears and a swirl of colors takes over as he thinks to himself she will never know if he just plays it cool.  It is ironically right when he thinks this that Mrs. Wingo asks about who turned in a paper, which Doug confesses to before Mrs. Wingo is able to say the paper is an essay entitled "My First Pair of High Heels" and doesn't have a name on it.  Doug gets completely and utterly embarrassed, but still can't take his mind off of what will happen when he gets caught.  Now realizing he can't play it cool he concentrates on trying to get the picture back, the first being that opening the window will cause a tornado in the room allowing him to snatch the doodle from the air, reality is much different because he stepped on Roger's foot who steps on his foot, and this causes a Mrs. Wingo to notice them and he couldn't open the window.  So Doug's next thought is Mrs. Wingo will put him in stocks in the middle of town 1800s Salem Witch Trials style, as he is harassed by his classmates.  Doug finally thinks of a decent idea, seeing a classmate reading a Smash Adams comic (James Bond/ secret agent spoof), and thinks about being able to come into the school after hours and take it back (a cutscene finishes the opening sequence.)  But Doug quickly realizes that Mrs. Wingo will see it before school is over, and goes to the next secret agent method, flatter the lady and take the picture when she is too flattered to pay attention.  Doug awkwardly attempts to hit on Mrs. Wingo in a sequence that is so awkward you almost need to put your face in your hands, and actually speeds up the process by knocking the papers over and the top one is his drawing.  Mrs. Wingo asks the class who did it, and Boomer's reaction makes her think he did it so she assigns him detention.  Realizing himself nor Smash Adams could let Boomer take the blame, Doug admits it's his drawing and takes the detention.  During detention Mrs. Wingo shows Doug the other doodles of herself shes gotten from students and asks him to sign his picture to put it into the gallery, and once Doug thinks hes off the hook, hes asked to clean all the desks, ample punishment.
IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE! Haunting...

I am admittedly not an artist, and have no talent for doodling pictures at all, especially of teachers, but that doesn't mean I haven't had two much similar circumstances.  The first came during my high school journalism class, when a case of boredom led me to search for pictures of my teacher on Google Images (perhaps the best site on the Internet), and I found a picture of him from many years passed.  Not only was he making a silly face, possibly from drunkenness, but the bald teacher we had all come to know and love had magnificent long blond locks of hair and my friends as well as myself were utterly stunned by this wonderful picture we had found.  The first thing I did was find a picture of Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas, and make a collage on MS Paint of how Fergalicious this teacher was by pasting his face on Fergie and drawing a few hearts around him and later set it as my class computer's desktop background.  To take it to the next level, my friends convinced me to use the common journalism e-mail address to send the picture to him.  He saw this in class and found it quite funny so we all laughed about it and had a good time.  The second time was a little more devious.  The professor of an Engineering class I took had a habit of asking "is this clear?" about 30 times in a two hour class.  The excessive use of this phrase caused me to use my computer (and trusty old MS Paint) to find a picture of him and a crystal, and jokingly put a quote bubble asking "Is this clear?" (By the way, the crystal was in fact clear so the answer is "Yes".)  I also proceeded to use a personal E-mail address to send it to everybody in that class at that time, and before the end of the class I was actually able to look around class at other students who had found it funny too, and some even posted it as their desktop backgrounds.  I later heard another student from the class used that picture in a class presentation.  It was my first every work submitted to the public domain that was actually used.  I will show the pictures below but to attempt to conceal the identities of both myself and those involved, I will black bar their eyes out (as if that actually works.)
High School Art.
College Art.

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