Thursday, October 7, 2010

Project Yancey: Episode 16: Doug's Big Catch

Call him Ishmael, nah, just call him Doug.  But he is helping Mr. Dink to catch his proverbial "White Whale", a fish affectionately named Old Chester.  A monster fish Mr. Dink caught years ago and had stole his wallet, he has been trying to catch him at the big Bass-Off Contest at Lucky Duck Lake.  Doug finds this very exciting, so he agrees to be Mr. Dink's partner at the contest and partake in some '"fish warfare", which Doug imagines to involve a submarine (and unfortunately doesn't.)  Next thing we know, it's the day of the contest and Mr. Dink came well prepared with all the gadgets he could get his hands on, so while hes taking the long time to load his boat, he asks Doug to go get some hot dogs for the two of them.  At the hot dog stand, Doug gets warned by Roger and his goons about crazy ol' Mr. Dink and his mythical Old Chester.  Doug tries to sneak back to Mr. Dink's boat so nobody would notice, but you can tell he also has some real doubts about continuing this quest.  Mr. Dink knows people think hes crazy, and not being one to leave a crazy man to himself, Doug doesn't turn back when Mr. Dink gives him the opportunity.  But as soon as the contest begins, the excess of equipment in the boat seems to be too much and the boat sinks into the lake.  Right when Mr. Dink decides to call it quits, Doug thinks to make a makeshift fishing pole from a stick, a shoelace, a safety pin and some gum, and starts fishing off the deck.  Shortly after Doug finds something is tugging at his line and calls Mr. Dink over to give him some help.  Lo and behold, they have pulled up the famous Old Chester, complete with his 3 fins, but he is notably smaller than the stories made him out to be.  But realizing he just enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, Mr. Dink decides to let Old Chester go, and he even got his wallet back!  But the wallet was missing $3 he had in there years ago, the chase is back on.
It's official, Mr. Dink has gone totally bonkers.

Back where I'm from we never had any urban legends of this sort, so I never spent my childhood days chasing after a potentially fictional creature (even though my brothers and I did make up an imaginary monster named Meatloaf that lives in our backyard to scare our younger cousin.)  I was also never much of an outdoorsman, so I've been fishing only a handful of times, and none of those times were particularly entertaining or memorable.  So I figure this would be as good a time as many to discuss the act of me being a guy, chasing after girls I find particularly appealing (a little bit of a stretch, but its the discussion of my own big "catches").  I will be the first to admit that my methods are very flawed, I am a shy kid so I wait around to meet people, and hope that fate will drop the chances of a lifetime on my lap.  Every once in a while this actually works for me, and when that happens I like to think I am more than competent as a sweet talker.  If I have a bread and butter, that is it.  Throughout my years of life, I've become charismatic, and have a pretty good personality that highlights the positives in myself, as well as pointing out the positives in whomever I'm speaking to.  Thanks a key point though, I know my weaknesses and either avoid them completely or make jokes about them (another strength of mine), because it isn't worth trying to be insecure about your weaknesses, from an Incubus song Smile Lines, "Insecurities are about as useful as trying to put the pin back in the grenade."  So even though I started by saying my methods are flawed, I've only pointed out one flaw, that is because it is a huge flaw and relies almost completely on circumstance.  But there is one more big ol' flaw, the fact that everything I've said is purely how I feel about myself, and I cannot say with any confidence that a majority, if anybody, will even agree with my on any of those points.  So there's another entry that gets you all into my head a little more.  I hope you enjoy the insights, and just to let you know there is gonna be a streak of good ones ahead!
Sweet talkin' like these freshly made pastries.  Tasty!  

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