Hello all, once again I have gone quite a long time without gracing you with some insight into my mind, and for that I am actually a little sad. I have gotten some writing done due to the MLB playoffs and Penultimate Round Pick, but what is the point of writing if you can't bitch and moan about things you don't like in your life? Also, not much has happened in the last two months for me to have felt the need to report it to this blog, instead I will write about trends in my life that I find to be somewhat interesting. They are not all good things, I would be surprised if any of them actually were good things but you need to learn how to take annoyances in stride. I have learned this, so here are some trends in my life that I find to be entertaining.
One of which is the fact I can get people to confide in me quite easily. The result of this is that I have a lot of useless information about people that I would rather not know. The worst part of this is that this information is largely sexual, I have no reason to know a general estimate of how "endowed" you think you are nor would I ever want to know anything about all the chicks or dudes you have plowed through in your time. I certainly will act like I enjoy what you are saying and will smile politely and nod my head, but for the most part I haven't asked you about any of this information, I don't have a reason to know it and I usually would rather not know it. Juxtapose this stance with the fact that I often open myself up to people I barely know and love to say things to people for the sole purpose of seeing how they react, I could possibly be the least well-rounded person I've ever met.
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| Where does Asshole go? |
Next - because it is always a topic of great interest to me - lets talk about chicks man, especially ones who are physically more well-rounded than I am metaphorically. I have noticed a great trend among the girls that I have met over my life. As I said earlier, people trust in me quite quickly, and I truly have no idea why, they are probably all idiots. Some of these people are female, I actually think in recent times I get along better with females once I actually get to the point of talking to them. The only problem with this is that I get along with many of them too well, which I know isn't a typically bad thing since some of them can be good people. The bad thing is that with every one of them I know they want to see good things happen for me, and more than a few of them get excited any time I bring up the idea of me finding a girl that I am interested in. The thing is, if I get along with a girl well enough at that point there is usually a better than odds chance that I wouldn't mind them being a girl I am interested in, and there is also a better than odds chance that they would prefer that not be the case. Fuck that situation, complete rubbish, been in it too many times that it's starting to get old. Now I guess I should spare myself the extreme finger fatigue that would come with airing all my grievances about my love life and move onto a new topic.
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| Something to avoid. |
I guess its not a completely new topic, but lets talk about elevators! Out of the last few conversations with female strangers that I have found to be enlightening, more than half of them have been inside of an elevator, and I am sad to say I am not the courageous man I need to be to ask a girl on a date because of a 10 story climb or descent. Maybe next time I will need to show some testicular fortitude and get those digits, but in all likelihood, I will make great conversation then let those cold metal doors close in my face locking out any potential. I also wonder what it is about elevators that cause me to be so much more personable than nearly every other social situation I have found myself in. My theory is that it is the only situation in which I have a ready-made comment to start a conversation, what is this line you ask? Could it possibly be better than my "icebreaker for the hall of fame" mentioned in this previous article? Probably not, but here it is. I wait on the elevator and mind my own business until the elevator does something funny (in my building there is always something funny happening in the elevators), it is usually a strange sound but sometimes can be erratic doors, if there is a girl I find particularly compelling who might enjoy my wit I think out loud, "I've seen way too many bad movies to feel safe in an elevator." Any girl who would chuckle at that comment is usually the kind of girl for me so then I know to try to say something more. Otherwise, I made a fool out of myself to a stiff.
Well there it is, some of the things I find entertaining in my everyday life. I'm sure this list is not exhaustive (especially since if only 3 things in my life entertained me I would be a sorry sad person) so maybe one day you all will see a sequel to this. Until then, enjoy the little bit that I have given you and make sure to put more posts from me on all your Christmas lists, maybe Santa will come a little early!
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