Interactions With People

Once again I am here trying to create a post on my fancy smartphone, this time while I'm sitting by myself on break. For some reason I am interested in writing about some strange interactions I have had with other people in my life. I have often had a habit of being a little socially awkward in front of new people and have had a long history of making terrible first impressions, in fact I've had multiple friends tell me that they hated me when they first met me but grew to like me when they actually met me. I find this to be an interesting phenomenon in my life and especially strange given the fact I am a pretty good public speaker. But anyways here are some interesting instances that come to mind.

Here's another thing I did at work!

When I was a freshman in college I lived across the hall from some lax bros. They mostly kept to themselves in the building and you would only see them either bringing some slut back or going out to smoke. But one time I saw one of them in a much different circumstance, he was pacing the hall talking on the phone. From the short bit that I heard he was complaining about the people at the school, saying most of the students are socially awkward nerds and complaining about how nobody ever seems to acknowledge other people as they walk by. I remembered this and thought that maybe I could help him feel better about the school so the next time I saw him I was sure to give him a head did and say hello, simply trying to be friendly. The damn kid ignored me completely and kept walking! What kind of douchebag complains about people ignoring each other then proceeds to ignore the kid who tries to remedy the situation. Maybe the kid really just missed ignoring people he thought he was cooler than like back in high school, no matter what his problem was he is an asshole in my book.

Not sure if that is him or not.. Same thing conceptually.

Another time I found funny was when I was in my phase of coming up with fake names and background stories to tell people, or as my friends know it, before I learned to exile Chase Robertson to the internet. I was at a party with two friends, one of which just came off of a long relationship and we were trying to cheer him up. The other friend decided to not care who he was dancing with so he started dancing with a sumo. When he noticed the gargantuan proportions of hiatus dance partner he tried to change his situation the best he could, by dishing her off on us. The recently single friend didn't see it coming so he was forced into a dance but spent the whole time giving me the most sad looks that just said "save me." Next would have been my turn but somehow I managed to get her to sit and talk as she wanted to dance with the first friend again, who I claimed to have never met before. I then proceeded to introduce myself as Patrick McGoohan (a spy fiction actor from the 60s) and said I could not dance with her due to my relationship with a girl back home in Vermont (not where I'm from at all but it wasn't a total lie as I was involved slightly with another girl at school.) My intentions hereto get everybody out of this situation with their dignity intact, but it took a strange turn when this girl started to tell me her life story, and I heard at least one story I had no interest in hearing. Eventually I found a way to get out of it myself and left the party to play Starfox.

Then there was an entire semester with a lab partner that shared my intentions of not mentioning the elephant in the room. I had only met her once before through a mutual friend, once again at a party, and even though I really didn't try to talk to her much her eyes were piercing through my for a little while. She had nice eyes so we danced and eventually started doing the most two people can do in a public area without anybody finding it lewd or offensive. The problem with this situation was that it took me until then to come to the realization that she was also the same girl one of my friends met at a party two weeks earlier and they left to enjoy each other's company. Not only that but she had been trying to get him to commit to a relationship since then and my job was likely to unknowingly get his attention. Months later we found ourselves in the same class and he only two people without a lab partner for the semester, so we partnered up and made believe we knew the other from elsewhere. In the end I got to know her and she was pretty cool, and nothing like you would think from just hearing that story. 

Fortunately I'm not that awkward

Since the last two stories have been about parties I'll switch to a decidedly different setting, the grocery store I used to work at (and blogged about last year.) One day I was minding my own business mopping up something some moron spilled when two of my friends.came over to me. I could tell by their expressions that they had something odd on their mind but nothing could have prepares me for the exchange that was to come. The first one came over and proceeded to ask if she could ask me a question, which always means something is going to happen. On my reply of yes she proceeded with her question, "can you pee with an erection?" Even I was caught off guard by that question and after a second told her my honest response and she then turned to the other friend and said "I told ya so!" And that was just a typical moment with those two.

One of many great images when your Google Image search "morning wood pee"

Since I seem to be going on too long I'll tell one more story, the story of the first class I had to teach. Granted I wasn't actually the instructor of the course but I was a teaching assistant with my own one hour block once a week. During the class I did the normal introduction and ice breakers that I was taught to do, then I went over the course syllabus but those didn't fill the time so I asked the class for general questions. One student's hand shot up almost instantly. He asked me how you get a suitemate to move out. My only response was to redirect him to the people who have the power to change housing assignments. Nevertheless of my lack of power in that situation he felt the need to tell myself and the rest of the class that his reasoning for wanting the guy to move out was that his suitemate had a habit of spending most of his days watching adult cartoons featuring characters from Naruto. I found the situation to be genuinely funny so the only thing I could do was hide behind my desk and laugh until I was straight faced enough to change the topic. Since then I've been fairly certain I can take anything a student tries to throw at me.

Most exhausting foreplay ever.. Also, right side, dude?

Welcome to my life..